Male boss: I will go K-Fed on your ass.
Male employee: What?
Male boss: Don’t make me make you pregnant.
Orlando, Florida
Male boss: I will go K-Fed on your ass.
Male employee: What?
Male boss: Don’t make me make you pregnant.
Orlando, Florida
Co-worker: I do find that when I wear my glasses I’m menaced by street hoodlums more.
176 Grand Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Eli Mavros
Old woman: How dare you pick me up in a truck? I drive a Cadillac and you pick me up in a truck?! This is the last Cadillac I ever buy from you!
Manager: That’s not much of a threat, now, is it? Seriously, look at you. I mean, there’s not a lot of Cadillacs left in you, is there?
Car dealership
Ohio
Secretary : The guys who clean my yard never take any off my plants, because I threaten them, I say ‘If you touch anything, I’ll kill you!’ And they never touch anything since then. Because they’re Haitians, and you know, Haitians scare easy.
1252 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, Florida
Editor, singing: I’m going to steal your chair when you’re dead!
6th and Lavaca Streets
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: not getting up
Woman: I was talking to God the other day, and he told me he’s coming soon, you know?
Man: Well, if he doesn’t show up in half an hour I’m leaving.
Mexico City International Airport
Overheard by: Trece
Receptionist: I just want to punch you in your eye ’cause you’re getting too upset!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Female CSR: I'd throw something at you, but all I have on my desk is a stapler and a scone. I'm not gonna throw the stapler 'cause I don't want to injure you and the scone is just out of the question.
Male CSR #1: Yeah, that's why I confiscate stuff.
Male CSR #2: Yeah, he took my balls.
San Diego, California
Coworker on phone: Jesus told me if you come over to fuck you up.
100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jesus Freak
