Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
Woman in hardware store, holding tube of black caulk: Does this caulk come in a smaller size?
Helpful hardware dude: No ma'm, black caulk only comes in large sizes.
Hardware Store
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: of course it does…..
Male voice over cubicle: Hey, has Smith gone over to the other side?
Female voice: I don't know, I'll watch his thing and let you know.
Greenville, Texas
Sales rep, about clients coming in later: Just so you know, one of them is deaf.
Secretary: Oh. Should we have printed some of the reports in braille?
Austin, Texas
Secretary to intern: How does your cat like tuna? I mean, he's never been to the ocean before.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I hate my desk
50-year-old female #1: Oh my god! You have to hear this! (reads entire e-mail aloud)
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I know!
40 year-old female #2: Oh my god!
50-year-old female #1: I'm forwarding it to you now.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: NoRest4TheWicked
Office girl to another: When you boil it down, all babies really need are titties and diapers.
Houston, Texas
Cubicle dweller: What exactly is “squirming”?
IBM
Austin, Texas
Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
