Or I Hope He Did, Because Otherwise That’s Just Sad

Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.

Industrial Park Drive
Texas

Overheard by: peon incharge

Posted on October 8, 2015
Blue Collar, Compare and contrast, Default, Family, On the phone, Sexuality, Texas

9AM Back to Work

Foreman: Today is Shadow Day.
A/P: What’s that?
Foreman: They let the kids off school to go with a parent to see what they actually do at work.
A/P: And she picked you?

3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, texas

Posted on October 4, 2015
Bosses, Comebacks, Coworkers, Family, Texas, Violence

People Are Dying to Get in Touch With Me

Chaplain: Oh! I need to turn my vibrator up!

Hospice Company
Dallas, Texas

Posted on October 2, 2015
Clergy, Sexuality, Texas, Weirdness

Where’s Your Mommy, Anyway?

Grunt: I’m sorry. You’re going to have to beat your head against the wall somewhere else. I have to get on a conference call now.

390 Benmar Drive
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: I know how you feel

Posted on September 12, 2015
Employees, Offers and requests, Texas

Adequate Compension for My Stealing Your Wife

Editor, singing: I’m going to steal your chair when you’re dead!

6th and Lavaca Streets
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: not getting up

Posted on September 9, 2015
Coworkers, Texas, Threats

A Feat I've Been Attempting for Years

Employee: So, I know that we don't normally do this, but my father in law is sick and I need to telecommute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speaker phone: Well, I guess telecommuting is acceptable for this week, but try not to let the situation go on much longer.
Employee to husband after, hanging up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your father.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: I don't know that I have that kind of power!

Posted on September 5, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Death, Family, Family members, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, On the phone, Texas

It's a Bad Influence on South

Lady coworker: I don't like the direction “west.”

Dallas, Texas

Posted on September 3, 2015
Coworkers, Geography & History, Texas, Travel

Have You Been Browsing the Lane Bryant Website Again?

Coworker #1: I went to the black rodeo.
Coworker #2: Black rodeo?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all the cowboys are black.
Coworker #2: Ohhhhh…where was that?
Coworker #1: Alabama. They had mini cows.
Coworker #3: I think those are baby cows…calves.
Coworker #1: I thought they were premature big cows.
Coworker #3: What the fuck is a premature big cow?

Newspaper
Dallas, Texas

Posted on August 22, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Questions, Race, Texas, Travel

Texans Don't Stalk, They Shoot

Female coworker on phone: I don't think he's the creepy/stalker type. I mean if he was, she wouldn't let him come over to her house and spend the night, would she? (pause) No, I haven't actually seen him yet.

Frisco, Texas

Overheard by: Daniel

Posted on August 20, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, On the phone, Questions, Relationships, Texas

The Same Reason I Outline My Nipples in Sharpie

Coworker #1: And then it just exploded all over my pants.
Coworker #2: That sucks.
Coworker #1: Well, the good news is that if someone mentions the stain on my pants I know that they are looking at my junk.

Houston, Texas

Posted on August 18, 2015
Body Parts, Clothes, Coworkers, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality, Texas, Weirdness