Manager: I’ll be right back. I’m going to the bathroom.
Cashier: Have fun!
McDonald’s
Texas
Ex-employee: I just got let go.
Employee: Really? What did they say?
Ex-employee: “Bye.”
4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas
Black woman, before an interview: I’ll let you do the talkin’, ’cause you’re a code cracker.
White dude: … What?!
Black woman: You know — you can read between the lines and figure out if she’s telling the truth.
White dude: I thought you just called me a ‘cold crackah’!
SW Grapevine Parkway
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: The real cold cracker
Talent to just-out-of-high-school intern: You should do porn. You have the body for it.
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: we don't have HR issues
Office pariah to 20-something wearing sweatshirt from recent vacation: Oh, Ireland… Is that some kind of college or something?
Texas
Overheard by: And then I died a little inside
Clerk guy: Yeah, so we ordered a pizza last night, and the guy on the phone knew my address, get this, before I even told him!
Clerk girl: Don’t they have caller ID or something?
Clerk guy: Man, I don’t know. I was smoking a big one, and I was like, “Dude, whoa. I think the government is all watching me now.”
Clerk girl: Um, probably not.
Clerk guy: Then explain to me how they knew my address and what kind of pizza I ordered last time! Explain that!
Kmart
Temple, Texas
Overheard by: Vicky
CSR: This is my senior picture in high school.
Manager: You were a cheerleader?
CSR: Yeah.
Manager: What happened?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Lady: … So it’s a strap-on, then. You just clamp it on and let it go to work.
Deer Park, Texas
Worker: It’s not chaos, it’s pandemonium. They should call it pandemonium. It’s a conundrum.
Traffic manager: I don’t want a conundrum in my mouth!
3311 Oak Lawn
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: erin
Male sales rep: He's nice. You'll like him. Oh, he's religious, so watch what you say–not that you cuss or anything…
Female sales rep: No, it's cool. I can throw in some baby Jesus references. Whatever.
Irving, Texas
