Delivery guy: When I got out of the Air Force I thought I was done with paperwork, but it looks like I’m destined to do paperwork.
Receptionist, uninterested: Oh, really?
Delivery guy: Yeah, but most of my time in the Air Force I can’t talk about.
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Delivery guy: It’s top secret stuff.
Receptionist: Oh, okay.
Delivery guy: Can’t talk about it.
Receptionist: So don’t.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Waby
Crazy dog lady: Ajax was running around in the shower this morning and chasing the water. It was so cute!
Coworker: He was in the shower with you?
Crazy dog lady: Yes. He needs to get clean. He has a white coat and he gets so dirty.
Coworker: You took a shower with your dog? Were you naked? Ewww…
Crazy dog lady: What? He was dirty!
Fort Worth, Texas
Crackhead: I know you… you are that guy from TV.
Ryan Seacrest: Yeah… it’s me
Crackhead: You’re that guy from Fear Factor.
Ryan Seacrest: No… I’m on that other show, American Idol… You might have heard of it?
Crackhead: Look at me… I ain’t got no TV.
6th Street
Austin, Texas
Female admin assistant to another, about cubicle relocation: I mean, I like it all just fine, but if I had a wiener I wouldn't get a boner or anything.
Houston, Texas
Male coworker to female coworker: So, did you have the diarrhea before lunch or after lunch?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Joel
Secretary to another, talking about movie: I know, I am soooo into antimatter!
Austin, Texas
Coworker: Treat yourself and your vag — get a pap.
Austin, Texas
Office girl #1: I want to start reading more books.
Office girl #2: Didn’t you just read yesterday?
11940 Jollyville Road
Austin, Texas
VP: That would be an unintended put option…as in put us out of our misery.
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
Bank teller: Ma'am, from now on if you want your balance you'll need to request it.
Customer: How do I request it?
Bank teller: Well, ma'am, you just ask me for it.
Houston, Texas
