New boss to room full of employees: I want everyone to know I'm a friend. My door is always open… except for when it's closed. When it's closed I'm generally yelling at someone, so you won't want to come in.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Not Surprised
Office peon on phone: Look, I'm busy right now so I'll have to call you back. What's your phone number?
Stupid office peon: Ummm… I don't know. I never call myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
Young boy: Look, daddy, there's the big dicks! Yesterday we saw the small dicks and today we seen the big dicks. Which do you like better, daddy, the small dicks or the big dicks?
Father: I prefer the big dicks, but don't tell your mother.
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: only if this were Victoria Secrets
Office worker to receptionist: I would have been here an hour and a half ago but the goats got out.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Coworker #1: Well, I climbed over the fence and knew that it hurt for some reason, but I didn't realize it was an electric fence until I climbed back over a second time.
Coworker #2: So you're pretty much telling us that cows have more sense than you?
Nashville, Tennessee
Office clerk: Woo! I got candy in *my* box!
Chattanooga, Tennesee
Overheard by: Wishing her box was as sweet
IT guy: Where do I need to put this?
Lady down the hall: If you can't get it in that one, just stick it in the back. It doesn't matter where you stick it. I'm easy.
Memphis, Tennessee
Admin to office manager: Do you want to talk to Michelle with ABC company?
Office manager: No, just put her in my voice mail.
Admin, picking up call: Michelle, she's actually at a karate tournament right now. Can I put you in her voice mail?
Nashville, Tennessee
Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I was thinking about signing up for the office blood drive.
Slutty coworker #2: Really? That's nice of you! They need a lot of blood right now.
Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I guess. I heard they test your blood for like STDs and stuff before they use it. I haven't gotten checked in awhile,so I figure, why not?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: wow thats classy
