Employee: On this new printer I just installed, we can print double sided.
Crazy-haired boss lady: I don't think I can.
Employee: No, we all can now.
Crazy-haired boss lady: Well, are things double sided on your screen? I don't have anything that is double sided on my screen, so I can't print double sided.
Merrillville, Indiana
Overheard by: CJ
Office girl: My computer just crashed.
Coworker: You can use mine.
Office girl: Thanks.
Coworker: No, you better not touch it. You might break it. (laughs, then pauses) On the other hand, I'd like you to touch it. Touch it as much as you want.
High Point, North Carolina
Young, gay, male PR coordinator: Wow! Nice office camera! I might have to take that with me when I get fired.
Advertising Agency
Salt Lake City, Utah
Worker: So last night I got the '08 Altima I was telling you about. It's got the continuously variable transmission, so when you accelerate it doesn't have to downshift for power.
Coworker: Cool! What color is it?
Worker: Black on black.
Coworker: Just like inner city crime!
Omaha, Nebraska
Male creepy marketing director, asking how to change copier's toner: So you just pull it out and shove it in?
Female office manager: (sigh)
Royal Oak, Michigan
Business user: So you're telling me that it will take six weeks to roll out this new bit of code to the stores?
Project manager: Yes.
Business user: This is ridiculous. Why can't we just have a set of rules that tells the systems what we want to do instead of inserting all this coding crap?
Project manager: Well, yes, we could do that.
Business user: Perfect! How long will it take to do that?
Project manager: About six weeks.
Wilkesboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Firebabe
CFO: What are they going to use video equipment for?
Budget services director: Making porn.
River Forest, Illinois
Teller, giving ATM instructions: Now just hit the little button that says “confirm” on the screen.
Customer: Is that the red button that says “cancel”?
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: bankbug
Coworker #1: Why does the copy machine keep printing out pages with lines on them?
Coworker #2: Because your original is on lined notebook paper.
Bloomington, Indiana
Manager: Why doesn't our testing server work?
Programmer: I'll tell you exactly why it doesn't work. I built it.
Manager: I'm leaving now.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: He's right.
