Coworker, explaining why he's carrying two calculators: One is built for speed, and one is to pick up women.
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker, explaining why he's carrying two calculators: One is built for speed, and one is to pick up women.
Boston, Massachusetts
Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!
Port Orchard, Washington
Coworker: But if I print it on both sides of the paper, how do I see what's on the other side?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Boss: We want to have the title field on the business card, so include on the ordering page a drop-down list so the employee can select a title, and corporate standards are consistent.
IT consultant: No problem, do you have a list of titles?
Boss: No.
IT consultant: So what would you like to have in the drop-down list?
Boss: A list of titles.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Female coworker, about new computer program: At first I had a hate attack, but after a while I got the hang of it.
Male coworker: Sort of like anal.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: G Dorn
Boss to office: What does a robotics team do?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: stuck in cube neighbor hell
IT guy #1: Hey, Ted*, I'm gonna start fixing some of these problems in your box.
IT guy #2: You know, I've been doing pretty well getting through them. With that new tool.
IT guy #3: Yeah, that new tool is great! It lets me plow through those new hires quicker than before! I don't know how it works, but they go. Crazy for it!
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Hello, Operator…
Male coworker: It's small but mighty.
Female coworker #1: Hey, it's not the size that matters!
Male coworker: You're right, it's the bandwidth!
(laughter)
Female coworker #2: We are still talking about the analytics department, right?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Mandy
Coworker to another: These reports are look-upable on the web.
Braintree, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hot Mess
Coworker #1: Are you posting time in the system?
Coworker #2: No.
Coworker #1: Well, I can't enter my time, it won't let me put any numbers in.
(coworker #2 walks over, looks at situation, presses num lock, walks away)
North Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Renee
