How Dutch Pornos Commonly Begin

Team assistant to IT guy: I can't get this file e-mailed cuz it's too big. Can you come up and zip it or something?
IT guy: Why don't you send it to me? I'll see what I can do.

The Hague
Netherlands

Overheard by: Out of Office

Posted on May 21, 2010
Employees, Europe, General Idiocy, Internet, Offers and requests, Tech People, Technology

…And the Governor Of California

IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.

North Queensland
Australia

Overheard by: Sarah Connor

Posted on April 23, 2010
Australia, Coworkers, Names, Questions, Tech People, Technology, Threats, Violence

It's Actually a Coffin, but Whatever

Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.

Minneapolis, Texas

Posted on April 12, 2010
Compare and contrast, Consultants, On the phone, Questions, Technology, Texas

There Are So Few Good Roles for African-American Actors

Woman in hardware store, holding tube of black caulk: Does this caulk come in a smaller size?
Helpful hardware dude: No ma'm, black caulk only comes in large sizes.

Hardware Store
San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: of course it does…..

Posted on April 9, 2010
Body Parts, Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Questions, Race, Technology, Texas

Bet You Attract a Lot Of Hot Little Numbers, Huh?

Coworker, explaining why he's carrying two calculators: One is built for speed, and one is to pick up women.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on April 7, 2010
Coworkers, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Technology, Weirdness

Readers, What's the Next Line? Show Your Work.

Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!

Port Orchard, Washington

Posted on April 5, 2010
Advice, Body Parts, Employees, General Idiocy, Sexuality, Technology, Washington

You Only Wish This Quote Were Pulp Fiction

Coworker: But if I print it on both sides of the paper, how do I see what's on the other side?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on April 2, 2010
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions, Technology, Utah

Never List ESP As One Of Your Skills on Your Resume

Boss: We want to have the title field on the business card, so include on the ordering page a drop-down list so the employee can select a title, and corporate standards are consistent.
IT consultant: No problem, do you have a list of titles?
Boss: No.
IT consultant: So what would you like to have in the drop-down list?
Boss: A list of titles.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia