IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.
North Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah Connor
Consultant on speaker phone: How about now? Is that better?
Meeting attendees: Yeah, much better, what did you do?
Consultant on speaker phone: I got out of bed and took you off speaker phone.
Minneapolis, Texas
Woman in hardware store, holding tube of black caulk: Does this caulk come in a smaller size?
Helpful hardware dude: No ma'm, black caulk only comes in large sizes.
Hardware Store
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: of course it does…..
Coworker, explaining why he's carrying two calculators: One is built for speed, and one is to pick up women.
Boston, Massachusetts
Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!
Port Orchard, Washington
Coworker: But if I print it on both sides of the paper, how do I see what's on the other side?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Boss: We want to have the title field on the business card, so include on the ordering page a drop-down list so the employee can select a title, and corporate standards are consistent.
IT consultant: No problem, do you have a list of titles?
Boss: No.
IT consultant: So what would you like to have in the drop-down list?
Boss: A list of titles.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Female coworker, about new computer program: At first I had a hate attack, but after a while I got the hang of it.
Male coworker: Sort of like anal.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: G Dorn
Boss to office: What does a robotics team do?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: stuck in cube neighbor hell
IT guy #1: Hey, Ted*, I'm gonna start fixing some of these problems in your box.
IT guy #2: You know, I've been doing pretty well getting through them. With that new tool.
IT guy #3: Yeah, that new tool is great! It lets me plow through those new hires quicker than before! I don't know how it works, but they go. Crazy for it!
Sparks, Maryland
Overheard by: Hello, Operator…
