IT #1: She’s a nut.
IT #2: Most people are.
IT #1: What kinda nut do you think we are?
IT #2: Cashews because we’re unique and expensive.
IT #1: I guess we could be macadamians.
IT #2: Those are fatty.
30830 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan
X-ray tech: I just finished with Seaman. You know, his friends call him “cum.”
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Staff: You have a second?
IT: Nope, completely out of stock on those.
200 Front Street W
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Financial director to IT tech who was having difficulty connecting a computer for a presentation: So, you can't get it up?
IT guy: Oh, don't say it like that…
Nashville, Tennessee
Crazy IT girl: Do you have a knife? If anybody in here had a knife, it would be you.
Crazy IT guy: Serrated or flat?
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Passing tech on cell: Dude, I know! Seriously, my ass is leaking brown juice!
Denham Springs, Louisiana
Overheard by: Erin
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Female peon: I want to wear flats… I mean, my doctor promised me three more inches…
IT guy: Mine too.
Manhattan, New York
Coder #1: I liked the fix you did on that bug.
Coder #2: When in doubt, just take away access from the user. It’s a fascist approach, but I swear by it.
Coder #1: Right…
141 West 28th Street
New York, NY
Tech: Are you all set on the pdf server now?
Client: Yes, I think so. Is it supposed to be so fugging slow uploading pdfs onto the ftp site?
Tech: Yup! That’s a feature.
Client: Neat. Thanks.
111 South 1st Avenue
Wausau, Wisconsin
