Dude, It's Colorado– Nobody Cares

Coworker: It smells like really strong pot in here! (lifts his shirt up to his nose, sniffing) And it's not me!

Aspen Business Center
Aspen, Colorado

Posted on March 6, 2009
Clothes, Colorado, Coworkers, Sensory Experiences, Substance Use & Abuse

Why All the Models in American Apparel Ads Look Like That

Sales associate #1: So I might go to Japan.
Sales associate #2: You should go. I would be Japanese as shit.
Sales associate #1: The only reason I wouldn't would be to get my degree in pharmaceuticals.
Sales associate #2: Oh. You should do that. I always need drugs.

Clothes Store
Williamsburg, New York

Posted on February 10, 2009
Education, New York, Sales, Substance Use & Abuse, Travel, Wishes

I'm Sure I Don't Need This Much Purell

Administrative assistant: Are you feeling okay?
Redneck supervisor: You know me, sometimes I like to overdose.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: (Not so Redneck) Supervisor

Posted on January 21, 2009
Admins, Bosses, Feelings, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Texas, Weirdness

…Known by the Rest Of My Siblings As “Grandma”…

Political organizer: That crackhead bitch! Well, I don't like to call anyone a crackhead. (starts again) That one lady who smokes crack…

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: I don't like labels, either

Posted on January 6, 2009
Employees, Insults, Ohio, Substance Use & Abuse, Words

What Do You Suppose “Lovin' Is What I Got” Means?

ISYS guy, listening to music: Sublime is awesome. “I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night”. Where do they come up with this stuff?
Accountant: They probably smoked two joints.
ISYS guy: I know! Lyrical genius!

Provo, Utah

Posted on January 6, 2009
Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Music, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Tech People, Utah

Tonight's Lifetime Movie: Ludmilla Does Vanilla

Coworker #1: I like the smell of gasoline.
Coworker #2: Oh, me too!
Coworker #3: That's because you used to do drugs.
Coworker #4: Who are you people?
Coworker #3: I like the smell of jet fuel.
Coworker #5: I like the smell of burnt rubber.
Coworker #3: That's because you used to be into dungeons.
Coworker #5 (wistfully): Oh, not anymore though…I'm married now.

Broadway & Canal
New York City

Overheard by: office peon loves her job

Posted on December 9, 2008
Coworkers, New York, Sensory Experiences, Substance Use & Abuse, Weirdness

Don't Practice Law Without It

Worker #1: I mean, I just want to tell them I can't make them feel better. *Bob* can't make them feel better. *Katrina* can't make them feel better. Their doctors can't make them feel better.
Worker #2: No, that's what the oxycodone is for.

Law Office
Northern California