Sales associate #1: So I might go to Japan.
Sales associate #2: You should go. I would be Japanese as shit.
Sales associate #1: The only reason I wouldn't would be to get my degree in pharmaceuticals.
Sales associate #2: Oh. You should do that. I always need drugs.
Clothes Store
Williamsburg, New York
Administrative assistant: Are you feeling okay?
Redneck supervisor: You know me, sometimes I like to overdose.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: (Not so Redneck) Supervisor
Political organizer: That crackhead bitch! Well, I don't like to call anyone a crackhead. (starts again) That one lady who smokes crack…
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: I don't like labels, either
ISYS guy, listening to music: Sublime is awesome. “I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night”. Where do they come up with this stuff?
Accountant: They probably smoked two joints.
ISYS guy: I know! Lyrical genius!
Provo, Utah
Coworker #1: I like the smell of gasoline.
Coworker #2: Oh, me too!
Coworker #3: That's because you used to do drugs.
Coworker #4: Who are you people?
Coworker #3: I like the smell of jet fuel.
Coworker #5: I like the smell of burnt rubber.
Coworker #3: That's because you used to be into dungeons.
Coworker #5 (wistfully): Oh, not anymore though…I'm married now.
Broadway & Canal
New York City
Overheard by: office peon loves her job
Worker #1: I mean, I just want to tell them I can't make them feel better. *Bob* can't make them feel better. *Katrina* can't make them feel better. Their doctors can't make them feel better.
Worker #2: No, that's what the oxycodone is for.
Law Office
Northern California
Indian developer to Russian-Jewish developer: When you're sitting with Jesus are you going to smoke dope?
State Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Brad
Nurse #1: Man, I really like speed.
Nurse #2: This from the girl with “registered nurse” on her badge.
Nurse #1: Just shut up and deal.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Night Nurse
Manager in hallway: Damn! I'm so sick of being a drug dealer!
Clear Lake, Iowa
Chubby CVS cashier to coworker: Yeah, so I've been seeing this new guy recently, it's going pretty well. We're hanging out later.
Coworker: Oh really, what are you going to do?
Chubby CVS cashier: Chill in his car.
Upper West Side
New York City, New York
