Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]
Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]
Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Dad: Come on, guys, pick out a gift and let’s go…
Son: I know what we’re giving Mommy.
Younger daughter: A big butt! A really big B-U-T-T!
Barnes & Noble
Glendale, Arizona
Overheard by: Blue Girl In A Red State
Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
Student: Can I get a list of people who write theses?
Receptionist: You mean, the list of typists?
Student: No, I want the list of people who’ll write my thesis for me.
California
Professor: So, you see how within Foucault’s understanding power always returns, because it is in the very organization of our thoughts?
Student in back row: Those sons of bitches!
2001 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
Biology teacher: So, in conclusion, diffusion is ions separating from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.
15-year-old blonde: So it’s like an orange, right?
High school
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: jess
Student: It kinda smells like bunnies.
Supervisor: What?
Student: Yeah, bunnies. Haven’t you ever smelled bunnies?
Supervisor: Uh, no, I don’t go around sniffing rodents usually. And besides, I’m congested, so all I’m smelling today is boogers.
1145 E. South Campus Drive
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Student worker #1: Seriously, why?
Student worker #2: Because I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Student worker #1: Were you that drunk again?
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Hate Student Help
Professional: So, at the conference we stay four people to a room, two to each double bed.
Student worker: Two people in a double bed?! Can two people even fit in a double bed if they aren’t having sex?
60 Washington Square South
New York, New York
Overheard by: amused queer
Student handing back professor evaluation: Sorry about the goo — it’s just from when my computer oozes, you know–
TA: –Your computer oozes? That doesn’t sound like a good thing…
Student: No, it only oozes when it’s hot!
1156 High Street
Santa Cruz, California
