Poor Mr. Hefner Becomes More Confused Every Year

Woman: So, you're taking your daughter swimming today?
Man: Yeah, her first lesson is doggy style.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I didn't think we lived in West Virgina

Posted on August 12, 2009
Animals, Education, Family, Friends, Questions, Sexuality, Sports, Washington

And Your Eyes Are Like Baseball Diamonds

Office drone to coworker chewing Big League Chew: Your mouth smells like T-Ball.

Woodlands, Texas

Posted on July 7, 2009
Body Parts, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences, Sports, Texas

My Liver Was Getting Too Full Of Itself

Office manager to HR manager: Did you go to the gym yesterday?
HR manager: No.
Office manager: Why not?
HR manager: Because I went home to drink.

Langley
Canadia

Posted on July 7, 2009
Bosses, Canadia, Drinking, Human Resources, Questions, Sports

And There Are Too Many Holes Involved.

Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf?
Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small.
(male coworker chokes on drink)

Bellevue, Nebraska

Posted on June 9, 2009
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Nebraska, Questions, Sexuality, Sports

He Sits Around All Day, Thinking These Up

Admin to office manager: Do you want to talk to Michelle with ABC company?
Office manager: No, just put her in my voice mail.
Admin, picking up call: Michelle, she's actually at a karate tournament right now. Can I put you in her voice mail?

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on May 25, 2009
Admins, Bosses, On the phone, Questions, Sports, Tennessee

Many Women Learn This Too Late in Life

Coworker trying to do flexibility exercise: I can touch myself!

Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York

Overheard by: office peon is flexible

Posted on April 10, 2009
Coworkers, New York, Questions, Sexuality, Sports

Time Flies When You're Slow, Huh?

Cube girl #1: I am so excited! The Olympics start tonight and I love them!
Cube girl #2: Yeah they're pretty cool.
Cube girl #1: Cool?! I watch them every year!

Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jessica B.

Posted on March 10, 2009
Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, North Carolina, Sports

Well, Let's Just Get Right to the Layoffs, Shall We?

Overly talkative manager: So, to lighten the mood a little on this call, what did you do on your day off yesterday, Steve? Did you get some mini-golf in?
Steve: I was at my uncle's funeral.

Minnesota

Overheard by: HungryHungryHippy

Posted on February 19, 2009
Bosses and Underlings, Death, Family, Minnesota, On the phone, Questions, Sports

…Before I Get Out My Riding Crop.

Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!

Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?

Posted on February 17, 2009
Animals, Arkansas, Body Parts, Employees, Lawyers, Questions, Sexuality, Sports

Most Of What People Tell You About Themselves Online Is Crap

IT guy, describing cyber-girlfriend: Yeah, I met her online. She works out a lot. She sent me some pictures, and she's definitely built like an outhouse.

Bartlesville, Oklahoma

Overheard by: My poop don't stink

Posted on February 3, 2009
Internet, Oklahoma, Physical Appearance, Restroom, Sports, Tech People

Sports