Customer: I’ll take this sushi and the spicy chicken with brown rice.
Girl at counter: Do you want dark meat or sub with all natural chicken breast?
Customer: I don’t know — it’s not for me, it’s for a coworker.
Girl at counter: Is it a guy or a girl?
Customer: A guy.
Girl at counter: Just get the dark chicken. He’ll never tell the difference.
Customer: He’s gay.
Girl at counter: Oh. Then get the white meat.
1303 South Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Pracca
Woman on phone: He saw some pornography on the internet and went to school and touched some girl and got in a lot of trouble.
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: your D.A.D.
Control room guy: I’m sorry, but if you get a hard-on from another guy, YOU’RE GAY. You can’t just say you were just acting. DeNiro couldn’t even act that well.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attorney: I have a small problem.
Secretary: Well, you have to work with what God gave you.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Boss: It's okay to say “masturbation.”
Worker: Okay. He masturbates to his grandma's underwear.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: why do i work here
Break tape manager, searching for a clip: Did you do Barry Manilow?
Talent coordinator: You know? I think I did.
PBS Affiliate
New Mexico
Overheard by: Josette
Boss, offhandedly: I love this company. I want to have sexual relations with this company.
Confused employee: You mean…in the company building? Or…with the company?
Southern California
Oblivious sales rep to gay tech: Do you know how lucky you are, the only guy in here with all these women?
Waukesha, Wisconsin
Supervisor #1: I mean, humans are the only ones that are supposed to be having interspecies sex, and even then, I don’t think that we should be.
Supervisor #2: Ew.
Supervisor #3: But that’d probably get you promoted here.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Office girl #1: She's in heat, so she's all swollen, and Bostons get gross swollen.
Boss: That's probably why she was running around town.
Office girl #2: I thought it was only males that run off when they're horny?
Boss: Nah, girls are whores, too.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
