Male coworker #1: Supposed to get up to fifty this weekend!
Male coworker #2: Yup.
Male coworker #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male coworker #2: Yep. Especially the doctors.
Male coworker #1: What?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm everyone takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doctor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.
Crane, Indiana
Overheard by: Dr. J
Food service worker: And he was all reaching for them, like, “can I touch them?”
Maintenance worker: What?
Food service worker: Yeah! And I said, “no, you cannot touch them. Where I'm raised, you don't just go touch them.”
Maintenance worker: Yeah, you can't just reach out and grab them.
Food service worker: No! Well, he didn't speak much English, but I think he got the point.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Trying not to smile
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
Female admin assistant: You know how anal I get when it comes to your work.
Male property manager: It's okay, I love anal!
(coworkers laugh)
Male property manager: Well… That didn't come out right.
Vancouver
Canadia
Coworker on phone: Hi, I was waiting to speak to Doug. (pause) No, Doug is a man, I spoke to a man before. (pause) Oh, sorry, you just didn't sound like the guy I spoke to last time.
Victoria
BC
Canadia
Boss during meeting: As long as they can get sixty people there, we'll make it happen. If they want to see a monkey fucking a football, we'll make it happen.
Manhattan, New York
Health inspector to commissioner: So you might be getting a call from this lady about making burgers out of beaver meat.
Secretary to health inspector: Have you ever eaten beaver?
Commissioner, as she walks away: You people can discuss this…
Department of Health
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Alfie
Coworker, yelling down hall: Hey, Diana*, did yours ooze?
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Female peon, exiting bathroom in disgust: Ugh, I hate the way my ass smells.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Pudangdang
