Director: My weekend sucked… How was yours?
Minion: Great! I woke up Saturday morning with peanut butter on my face. Still can't figure that one out.
Boss, laughing: Did you have patches of hair missing too? I've heard that's bad.
Minion: No, that was my dog.
Lenexa, Kansas
Overheard by: I don't want to work with here anymore
Lady in large party: How can you remember all of this?
Waiter: The longer I stand here, the less I remember.
Restaurant
Placerville, California
Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.
Leesburg, Virginia
Salesman: They like us. We have a good taste in their mouth.
Bay Street
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Worker #1: What's up wit dat new chick, the one haulin' dirt, she Korean?
Worker #2: Naw, she's Native American.
Worker #1: Dat's hot yo, I wonder what Indian pussy taste like?
Worker #2: (long pause) Maize?
WTC Memorial Site
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Bob
Receptionist, after leaving bathroom: I didn't fart or shit, but my piss smells like a mariachi band.
Exton, Pennsylvania
Worker: Why do professional people talk so loud in an office environment? You know what I love? “Kitty-cats!” shouted down three offices.
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
A woman walks into the ladies’ room at work and finds a man and a woman standing by the sinks.
Woman #1: Um.
Woman #2: It’s okay, he’s blind.
149 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Shannon Bowman-Sarkisian
Boss: It’s my job to eavesdrop on people. That’s why I like to talk really loud, so that when it’s quiet people think I’m not here.
Schofield Barracks
Hawaii
Co-worker: Avoid the bathroom in about an hour, you-know-who just sat down to eat some pea soup.
1 International Plaza
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: courtesy flush
