Detective #1, walking away from meeting with chief: Man,where do you come up with some of this shit?
Detective #2: There were a couple summers in the 70s when I thought LSD was a vitamin.
Manhattan, New York
Detective #1, walking away from meeting with chief: Man,where do you come up with some of this shit?
Detective #2: There were a couple summers in the 70s when I thought LSD was a vitamin.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker to another, about bus driver: I couldn't even get it out of my mouth before he started bellowing.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!
Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy: Me and the wife are going out this weekend. You think you could hook me up with…uhh, some happy fun time shit?
Girl: Are you serious? I don't think I have anything you'd like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of story!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talking about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to borrow someone else's sex toys?
Girl: I…uh…
Guy (smirking): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!
Centennial, Colorado
Overheard by: Trouble
Coworker #1: Thanks for the tea.
Coworker #2: I didn't know how you like it so I just did it how I like it. Wet and warm is jut fine.
Dover
England
Male employer: You shaved this morning!
Male employee: Your hands are cold!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Way Too Early in the Morning
(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.
Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Office guy: The spread is great! What are these? (points at mini cream puffs)
Office girl: I don't know, just try one.
Office guy: Um, okay.
Office girl, after popping one in her mouth: Ohmigod! I just had a squirt of awesomeness in my mouth!
Coral Gables, Florida
Overheard by: Dianna Plasencia
Office woman #1: You don't wanna eat butt?
Office woman #2: Not stinky butt!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Silent Assistant
Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
