Sales manager: Can you drop a historical load with the initial dump?
Fairfield, New Jersey
Sales manager: Can you drop a historical load with the initial dump?
Fairfield, New Jersey
Cubicle occupant, after atrocious noises come from bathroom: Oh, Jesus.
Sympathetic lady in next cubicle: Ah, shit happens, sweetie.
London
England
Coworker on phone: Ugh, it's just the bloating and the pain. (pause) Oh, wait! I think things are on the move! (rushes to bathroom)
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Overheard by: CubeDweller
Guy on cell in handicapped bathroom stall: No, now listen to me. No, you listen to me, man!
(loud, long, echoing fart) Hey, man, listen. How about I call you back? Yeah. Okay.
Richmond, Virginia
Cube monkey: I feel like I can't go to the bathroom by myself anymore.
Chicago, Illinois
Guy in cubicle: I seemed to have dropped my camera in the toilet.
Baltimore, Maryland
Digestively-challenged coworker: I'm in the bathroom a long time because I'm constipated. Takes some time to work it out. If they don't believe me, I'd be happy to let someone come in after me and see that it's a sinker, not a floater.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Grossly Amused
Boss: Don, I'm going to the restroom. Gonna grab some coffee and we'll just do it, okay?
Seattle, Washington
Cool guy #1, leaving restroom: Okay, dude… You hungry?
Cool guy #2: You know it!
Flatiron District
Manhattan, New York
Cubicle worker #1: I was just next to what I commonly refer to as a “master blaster” in the men's john a minute ago…
Cubicle worker #2: Go on…
Cubicle worker #1: I think he barely had a chance to get his pants down before the gates of hell opened and all were consumed with fire and explosions of various forms…
Cubicle worker #1: I was trying not to laugh in the stall next door.
Cubicle worker #2: What the fuck!
Cubicle worker #1: It just goes to show. No matter how nice a person's shoes, they can still be ugly on the inside. His shoes were very nice, after all. A black patent leather cap toe, I believe.
Cubicle worker #2: Everyone shits.
Cubicle worker #1: I didn't get too good a look in my haste to retreat, lest I have to endure uncomfortable eye contact subsequently.
Moreno Valley, California
Overheard by: Joe P
