3PM Coffee Break

Co-worker #1: Hey, what are you doing down here?
Co-worker #2: Going to take a dump.

2800 Rock Creek Parkway
Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on August 30, 2015
Coworkers, Missouri, Restroom

I Hear It Floats to the Top

Employee: I ordered 2448 washers today! What did you get done?
Boss: I took a big shit this morning.

Philadelphia, PA

Posted on August 26, 2015
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Pennsylvania, Questions, Restroom, Time Management

I Can Hear the Gospel Singing All the Way Down the Hall

Coworker returning from restroom: There's joy in the men's room.

Macon, Georgia

Posted on August 14, 2015
Coworkers, Georgia, Health & Hygiene, Restroom, Sexuality

I Don’t Think Happy Meals Are Effective Going Out

Manager: I’ll be right back. I’m going to the bathroom.
Cashier: Have fun!

McDonald’s
Texas

Posted on August 12, 2015
Crazies, Default, Employees, Restroom, Service, Texas, Wishes

Are You on My Email-Update List?

Guy at urinal: Hi, Jim. Bad result over the weekend, wasn't it?
Jim: Yes, shame really.
Guy at urinal: Yeah.
(pause)
Jim: These tablets the doctor has me on really have improved my flow. It feels so good now.
Guy at urinal: Ummm? That's nice.

Exeter
Devon
England

Overheard by: Minding my own business

Posted on August 11, 2015
Coworkers, England, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Restroom

In Case You Wondered Who Shops at Whole Foods

Coworker to another: As long as I keep on getting grilled brie and paté sandwiches and have a gold-plated bidet, I don't mind being broke.

Whole Foods
Oakland, California

Overheard by: AlchemistGeorge

Posted on August 10, 2015
California, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Money, Restroom

They're Served in the Cutest Oversized Bowls

Senior-looking employee to another: So there's the men's room. Do you want coffee or tea?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: carmine

Posted on August 9, 2015
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Restroom, Wishes

What an Interesting and Alarming Theory

Boss exiting stall: I have to wipe piss off the floor at least five times a day!
Employee at urinal: Some people must shake it too hard.
Boss: They just plain miss the shot into the urinal. One time I came in here and someone had pissed all over on the floor, under the stall.
Employee: [Silence.]Boss: You know when someone jacks off and they don’t get it all out? It dries up. When you go to take your first piss after jacking off the stream gets split and it goes all over the place.
Employee: [Silence.]

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Horrified Handwasher

Posted on August 9, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Minnesota, Restroom

God, I Hate Snobs

Co-Worker on phone: I do not want to poop in my pants!…I’m way too fucking classy for that.

1500 Broadway
New York, New York

Posted on August 7, 2015
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, New York, On the phone, Restroom

Then I Have Some Bad News about Those Envelopes You Just Licked

Paralegal to friendly lawyer: I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand.
Lawyer: What’s your problem? We just saved the firm hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Paralegal: It has nothing to do with that… I’d help to bankrupt an orphanage if it came to it.
Lawyer: Then why won’t you shake my hand?
Paralegal: Sir, I was in the bathroom when you took a shit after the meeting, and you didn’t wash your hands. That’s just disgusting.

725 12th Street NW
Washington, DC

Posted on August 4, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Legal, Restroom, Washington DC

Restroom