Coworker: Mary, what are you doing?
Mary: I want tequila!
New York City, New York
Coworker: Mary, what are you doing?
Mary: I want tequila!
New York City, New York
Office cleaning lady: Does anyone know how to clean mice balls?
Arlington, Virginia
Coworker: Name three adjectives that you think best describe you.
Intern prospect: Adjectives…is that like “beautiful”?
Coworker: Uh, yeah…
Intern prospect: Okay: I'm patient, organized and I'm a good communicator…but I don't know how to say that.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: seriously
Boss: Why can't I open this file?
Secretary: Because you did not click on the file.
Boss: I swear this computer lies to me all the time!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: telling lies to the computer
Extremely loud cube rat: Okay, let me check on that for you. That is “c” as in “Sam”?
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Sneaker
Interviewer: So, can you drive a multi-position snowplow?
Interviewee: No. But my cousin can.
Department of Transportation
Denver, Colorado
Office attorney: What are you guys talking about?
Admin assistant: Roachy cop porn. I mean, roachy popcorn.
Fairfield, Ohio
Clerk #1: They said there was problems on the 4 and 5–what does that have to do with the 3? Where did the 3 go?
Clerk #2: They said someone threw themselves on the tracks.
Clerk #3: Did what?
Clerk #2: Threw themselves in front of the train–someone wanted to commit hara-kiri.
Clerk #3: Why they got to do that at this time of day? Why does everyone want to kill themselves during rush hour, but nobody wants to do it in the middle of the night, so we can all get to work?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Innocent Bystander
Analyst #1: I have a whole case of water in my car.
Analyst #2: Hoe cakes?
Sugar Land, Texas
Overheard by: Say What?
Secretary: Have you seen that movie The Happening?
Boss: Is that with Marky Mark?
Secretary: I think so, that's Mark Wahlberg right?
Boss: Yeah, can you feel the vibrations?
Secretary: I don't think you're allowed to ask me that.
Las Cruces, New Mexico
