Assistant: So how is your daughter?
Boss's wife: She's fine. She made honor roll. She's getting fat…
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Office Drone #3784
Assistant: So how is your daughter?
Boss's wife: She's fine. She made honor roll. She's getting fat…
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Office Drone #3784
Engineer: It's a mini keyboard. I have a computer hooked up to my tv so I can browse the internet and watch p… movies.
Manager, laughing: I heard the “p.”
Salesgirl: Wait, so you lay in bed and play with it?
Manager: Actually, yes, that's exactly what he was saying.
Sales girl: Oh, can I touch it?
Engineer: Only me and the FedEx driver have touched it.
New York, New York
Female coworker: Does your phone have a touchscreen?
Male coworker #1: Well, I can touch it, but it doesn't do anything.
Male coworker #2: Do not tell us anymore about that.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: I wanna hear more
Male coworker #1: Do you and your wife kiss?
Male coworker #2: God, no! Of course not!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Thorn
Administrator, on phone: What? The internet's going to go down? Why don't you just suck all the oxygen out of the building?
Manhattan, New York
Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where Randall's log cabins is located?
Local clerk: Randall's log cabins?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are located?
Local clerk: Where they are located?
Tourist: Yes, they are somewhere in this area.
Local clerk: In this area?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are?
Local clerk:Do I know where they are?
Tourist: Yes, Randall's log cabins, I need directions to it.
Local clerk: You need directions?
Tourist: How about a map, do you have a map of this area?
Local clerk: Do I have a map of this area?
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Overheard by: jocko james
Puzzled IT worker holding tortilla in one hand and piece of raw cod in the other: So what you're saying is that this isn't sushi?
Coworker: It's not sushi.
IT worker: But it's raw fish!
Coworker: Well, sushi is a special kind of way of preparing it. That's just a piece of cod you bought from the fishmongers, wrapped in a tortilla.
IT worker: So… I shouldn't eat it?
Coworker: No… This is like the jam incident, isn't it?
IT worker: Fuck you! Jam is healthy–there's bloody fruit in it!
Coworker: And you wonder why you're single…
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Office slave: Thank you for so much for going above and beyond with this, you are a beautiful person!
Sales guy: Oh, you think so?
Office slave: No, not that kind of beautiful–but thank you for the help.
Colorado
Secretary: Here, let me see it… You need to leave a hole in it big enough to fit a few fingers in, they always put their hands in it.
Male worker: Like this?
Secretary: Yeah, that will work… Now just stick it wherever you like.
Male worker: Anywhere?
Secretary: Yup, anywhere.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Hot topic clerk: Can you imagine how boring Star Wars would be if they had put it in Oregon?
Michigan
