Eventually the Company Dropped Him and Set Him Afloat.

Manager to coworker: How are you doing?
Coworker: I am a little backed up.
Manager: Is there anything I can do to help?
Coworker: Nope, I'm on my way to take care of that now. (walks off to bathroom with a magazine in hand)

Keene, New Hampshire

Posted on April 13, 2011
Admins, Coworkers, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality

Or So the Office Babies Tell Me

Boss: Who likes fake ones? Sure, they feel real, but you can't suck on them without thinking, “damn, these taste fake.”

Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: WD40

Posted on April 6, 2011
Bosses, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Virginia, Words

I Thought Rumors About How He Was Hung Had Been Greatly Exaggerated?

Coworker to another: So I guess equestrian events have become real popular since Michael Phelps became famous?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on April 4, 2011
Coworkers, New York, Pop culture, Questions, Sports

Nice to See You Approach It with the Same Dedication You Do Your Work.

Assistant: I need to lose ten pounds.
Employee: Do you exercise?
Assistant: I'll do anything to lose weight, except exercise and diet.

Santa Monica, California

Posted on April 4, 2011
California and Northwest, Diet & Weight, Employees, Philosophy, Physical Appearance, Questions

…To Borrow One Of Kate Gosselin's Monologues.

Vendor: I don't want to get into some whole “he said, she said” situation.
Client: What are you talking about? There is only a “he said,” and you're the “he,” and you're a dick!

McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Septimus

Posted on April 4, 2011
Anger management, Customers, Insults, Questions, Sales, Virginia

Best. Colleague. Ever.

Female coworker #1: How did your dental surgery go?
Female coworker #2: I'm okay. A little sore.
Female coworker #1: Do you want some Vicodin? I have some in my top drawer. I'm more than happy to share the wealth!

Norwalk, Connecticut