Elderly attorney on phone: I knew you were Armenian. Armenians always have sweet, kind, whispered, milky voices.
Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Slaveia
Elderly attorney on phone: I knew you were Armenian. Armenians always have sweet, kind, whispered, milky voices.
Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Slaveia
Female manager to peon: Sometimes I violate myself.
Nashua, New Hampshire
Underling: I had something I need to talk to you about, but I can't remember it now.
Boss (grinning): Well, I'm not in your head so…
Underling: I need you inside my head.
Boss (grimacing): Uh…I don't think I want…
Underling (interrupting): No, the work side, not the porn side.
Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts
Office girl #1: So this girl I don't know walks in on me while I'm in the shower and says “Oh, don't worry, I'm an ex-stripper so I've seen it all.”
Office girl #2: Oh my god, what?!
Main Street
Akron, Ohio
Manager #1: The new girl is Asian? Ooooh, fucky-sucky, long time!
Manager #2: I’ll have someone else show her around.
Manager #1, as manager #2 leaves office: It’s not harassment if you’re joking!
Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
DBA to male co-worker: I want service! I’m coming to you to be serviced!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: I thought that belonged in the men’s room…
Female clerk: Hey *Mark, you don’t sound like you want to be here today.
Male clerk: And you want to be here today?
Female clerk: You want me to rub it off for ya?
Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Office drone #1, shouting over cubical wall: Have you been pegged?
Office drone #2: Apparently.
New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Manager: Oh my god, I swear. You are on my ‘To Do’ list.
Designer: … Somebody get HR on the horn.
Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey
Overheard by: the amazing copywriter
Coworker #1, drinking with group: I’ve got two kids, a daughter and a son.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t know that. Does Betty* have any kids?
Coworker #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Coworker #1: Who?
Coworker #3: You know, Glen — over there at the table across the room. He has two daughters. They came to the office a couple times. One’s about 12, and the other’s 15 or something like that.
Top executive: Yeah, and they’re pretty hot, too! [All three coworkers silent.] Uhhh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.
Spirit of Seattle Argosy Cruise Ferry, Lake Union
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?
