Senior partner: I was telling my secretary the other day, “You know what turns me on? You know what gets me hot? A woman with a job.”
Senior associate: Well, I have one of those.
Senior partner: It really turns me on.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: praying that it's only a dream
Man entering bathroom, standing next to coworker at urinal: David*, you smell like suntan lotion. Have you been out tanning?
David*: I think you need to stop with your fantasies.
Men's Bathroom
Omaha, Nebraska
Studio Manager: I loved the part when you were a lesbian.
New York City, New York
Boss to coworker: Mary, please start playing with this huge package.
Medfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: But that's MY package!
Office chick on phone: I know! He was all, ‘I really like your hoses…’ I did — I told him I liked his hoses as well — I’m not rude.
Itasca, Illinois
Overheard by: Terry
Manager: [Elayne], sloppy seconds?
Co-worker: Sure. It’s not what it sounds like. She’s asking if I
want the second half of her teabag.
740 Dundas Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
Office girl: Isn’t it nice?
Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?
Office girl: Wait, what?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female employee to male boss: Show me what seven inches looks like.
Kanata North
Canadia
Two co-workers watch a woman showering in a window across the street.
Female co-worker: Is she dry showering?
Guy: No, there’s soap on her legs. Wow, those are America’s cleanest boobs.
Female co-worker: You can’t see soap from here.
Male co-worker: You can with the binoculars in my office.
Male co-worker runs to get the binoculars.
Female co-worker: Uh oh. She just cleaned somewhere funny.
Boss: What’s going on?… Ahh, a nudie with fake boobies! I love a good set of fake knockers!
Male co-worker: She has a scar on her butt.
Boss: I think that’s a tattoo.
Female co-worker: She should get that checked out.
225 North Michigan
Chicago, Illinois
Phone drone #1: So this guy’s going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don’t just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don’t answer that.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
