Female CSR holding stack of papers to male CSR staring at empty printer tray: Hey, Scott, I think I grabbed your thing!
Castle Rock, Colorado
Female CSR holding stack of papers to male CSR staring at empty printer tray: Hey, Scott, I think I grabbed your thing!
Castle Rock, Colorado
Sales rep on phone: Um, I don’t know, let me check… [Mutes phone and yells to coworkers] Do we carry Big Ben’s nut sauce?!
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Laughing too hard to answer
Female coworker #1: So, Jack* is like, ‘I feel obliged to tell the supervisor I caught you cheating again.’ And obviously I can’t have that — if I lose this job I’m screwed for the month.
Female coworker #2: Totally. So what did you do to shut him up?
Female coworker #1: Let him lick my boobs in the store room.
Female coworker #2: One boob or both?
Female coworker #1: Both.
Female coworker #2: Good plan.
Duane Reed, Times Square
New York, New York
Intern: I’ve never had butt sex. I’m saving it for marriage. Since I’m not a virgin anymore, I have to save something for my husband.
Friend: You’re so dumb. You should have done what I did. I ONLY have butt sex, so I’m still a virgin.
Pour House Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, District of Columbia
Boss: …Right where a woman belongs!
Co-worker: Where’s that, [Kevin]?
Boss: In the kitchen!
Co-worker: Oh, you did not just say that!
Boss: No, you’re right…I didn’t.
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Employee: Well, did we decide against boobs?
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Tech: …and if it gives you any problems, just call me. Any time, doesn’t matter. I sleep with my cell phone.
Lawyer: I’ve slept with worse.
11377 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Eve Z. Dropper
Boss, talking about bad ex-employee: Dick was a real pain in the ass.
1900 Avenue of the Stars
Century City, California
Overheard by: JuliaTastic
Coworker #1: Man, it’s cold in this room.
Coworker #2, pointing to thermostat: If you’re cold, blow on that.
Coworker #1: What’s that going to do for me? [Pause.] If it will make me warm, I’ll blow anything.
Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Coworker #3
Female Excel nerd: Time to go make more price lists! Excel is my bitch.
Redheaded dominatrix: And you are mine.
42nd Street
New York City, New York
