Manager to employee: The look on your face says “constipated.”
Fast Food Restaurant
Minnesota
Overheard by: tonette
Manager to employee: The look on your face says “constipated.”
Fast Food Restaurant
Minnesota
Overheard by: tonette
Director, pointing to picture: This sister? Is she older than you?
Employee: No I’m the oldest.
Director: She looks older than you. Both your sisters do.
Employee: That’s because they both stopped taking their estrogen. They dried up.
365 W Passaic St,
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle right outside
Drunk chick: Hey, bartender! Did anyone ever tell you you look like Luke from Gilmore Girls?
Bartender: No. What’s Gilmore Girls?
Drunk chick: It’s a show on TV. You should look it up. [To guy standing next to her] Hey, you look like this guy in this porn I have!
Dickson Street
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: laughing into my beer
Cube dweller: What's up, chest hair?
Office dweller with unbuttoned shirt: I don't *have* any chest hair…and I like it that way.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Worker bee #1: You're too skinny!
Worker bee #2: It's not my fault. I try to eat crap!
San Rafael, California
Employee in back room of shop: That chubby little boy who used to walk past my house every day is now a stripper!
Mount Vernon, Washington
Overheard by: HeatherC
Middle-aged cube rat, surfing the internet: A dog has no business looking like a cow.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: killmei'mbored
Coworker #1: I didn't know you wore glasses!
Coworker #2: These are yours.
Manhattan, New York
Man to friend: If I knew it was that easy to lose weight from getting sick I'd have licked my dog's butt a long time ago.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chimpy
Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
