Philosophy

Metrosexual CSR: I don’t know — I just feel like most normal straight men shouldn’t know all the lyrics to Rent.

915 Broadway
New York, New York

Female manager to secretary: Why don't you wear a bra sometimes?
Secretary: I only wear a bra when I wear panties.

Jax, Florida

Office grunt: Sometimes you get a hole in your bag and you lose your chicken.

10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri

NYU Professor: Being a visiting professor has its good points: I don’t give a shit what I say!

19 University Place
New York, NY

Office grunt: These days if you don’t find your passion as a kid you’ll end up a drug addict.

250 West 54th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: jillysays

Judge, on the bench: This is not a court of justice! This is a court of law!

Elyria, Ohio

Male office drone: So my friend says that instead of trying to stop human nature, we should focus our innate racism at a race that doesn't exist anymore. Like the Tuscans.
Female office drone, barely paying attention: Sounds like a cracker.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Secretary : The guys who clean my yard never take any off my plants, because I threaten them, I say ‘If you touch anything, I’ll kill you!’ And they never touch anything since then. Because they’re Haitians, and you know, Haitians scare easy.

1252 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, Florida

Exec #1: …Yeah, anybody can own a Louis Vuitton nowadays. You know someone really has money when they can control other people’s time.
Exec #2: Totally.

1212 6th Avenue
New York, NY

IT guy, on computer settings: If it isn’t turned on, then it’s probably turned off.

California

Overheard by: The breakroom