Techie: We should close the front doors or turn off the a/c to save some power, since it's blackout season.
Bad admin: I can tell you're paid on salary.
Techie: Uh, hmm?
Bad admin: I get paid hourly, therefore I like blackouts. If there's a blackout, I get to sit at my desk and do nothing for a few hours.
Santa Barbara, California
Manager, philosophically: Whores have their time and place… They serve a purpose too.
Chico, California
Sales rep, returning from a meeting: Just because we have brains does not mean we’re smart!
State Street
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Summer Intern
Project manager: I hate it when people tell you they have to look for something, because then they have to find it.
Oak Brook, Illinois
VP, jokingly: … And this is the part of the project where we’ll assign blame when we have to.
Marketing manager: We’re expecting blame?
VP: Oh, sure — blame is like water: it gets through any cracks and always works its way downwards.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Office grunt: Well, you know what they say — when the lion king roars, the cows go running.
Garey Avenue
Pomona, California
Manager: First thing we do is get back control of petty cash.
HR clerk: Isn’t that like closing the barn door after the coke has been snorted?
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
CSR #1: Everyone says that Jesus was on the bookshelf the whole time. But what if he wasn't on the bookshelf…
CSR #2: People will put Jesus wherever they want to put him.
CSR #1: Oh my god, that's so deep!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Metrosexual CSR: I don’t know — I just feel like most normal straight men shouldn’t know all the lyrics to Rent.
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Female manager to secretary: Why don't you wear a bra sometimes?
Secretary: I only wear a bra when I wear panties.
Jax, Florida
