Waitress: Hi guys, are you ready to order?
Frat boy: Oh, we’re not gay!
Diner, West College Avenue
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3rd Shift
Waitress: Hi guys, are you ready to order?
Frat boy: Oh, we’re not gay!
Diner, West College Avenue
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3rd Shift
Supervisor to employee: I’m sorry. I don’t speak retard.
588 N. Gulph Gulph Road
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Poor Guy
Suit: Jim’s* door is locked. Is he not here?
Woman #1: No, his mother’s in the hospital.
Suit: Damn!
Woman #1: Not very synthetic, is he.
1500 John F. Kennedy Boulevard
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Not synthetic, very real
Boss: You may not spend an hour in the bathroom.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Irate tenant on voicemail: I came home today, and someone was in my apartment…vacuuming…I feel so violated.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Security guard #1: You hear about that wedding today? Someone’s gettin’ married in the park.
Security guard #2: Who? Bert and Ernie?
GR rep: Not in this state.
Sesame Place
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Boss: I went to school with this guy…I don’t remember his name, but he just became the president of some real estate development company in DC. Can you look him up on the internet? I’d like to send him a note.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office minion
Co-Worker: I sent out the class rosters for summer term to all the faculty and got an e-mail back from one guy wanting to know why he can’t find his name on the list. Because it’s the list of his students! How did he get to be a teacher!?
1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Temp
Co-Worker #1: I was just over at [your new boss]’s office, and the first thing I noticed was that it’s really quiet over there!
Co-Worker #2: Oh, I know.
Co-Worker #1: No, really, you’re going to go crazy! It was almost nine o’clock, and nobody was talking! You’ll have to play yourself some music or something.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah.
Co-Worker #1: So I decided what I’ll do is call you sometimes and just yell over the phone!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Blocked writer: Do you know how hard it is to write a useful, edifying sermon when you’ve got “Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me” stuck in your head?
1701 Delancey
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Anne-Cara
