Crazy coworker, on saving money: You can live without toilet paper, because you could just use Kleenex instead, but you can't live without steak!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Only female worker in office, to five males: Speaking of Hummers…
(everyone stops working and looks up)
Technician: You have our attention.

Malvern, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Were we?

Supervisor: Girl, you better give me back those files or I'll take you outside. Like that girl in that movie.

County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Customer: Hello, Phyllis, how are you today?
Worker: I’m not Phyllis, I’m Kay.
Customer: Your name tag says Phyllis.
Worker: No, it doesn’t. It says Kay, see? P-H-Y… oops!… wrong name tag.

Westmoreland Mall
Greensburg, Pennsylvania

Trim female coworker: How was your weekend?
Overweight female coworker: It was okay… Ooh! I thought of you yesterday. I was taking a bath…

Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Weird suit: Hey! There’s a box of dead people back here!

Bourse Building
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Manager: If you want to get in on the Vulcan mind meld, you gotta come over here and chug some of this maple syrup.

650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Lowly assistant: We are supposed to have our monthly, quarterly, and annual goals prepared for Tuesday’s meeting.
Lawyer: Really? Tell the office manager to send me everyone else’s goals.
Office manager: I probably won’t have them before the meeting.
Lawyer: But I don’t know what my goals are.

1500 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: It’s Comcastic

Chief: Tom's got it all wrong. Most of the gay men I meet are eloquent, they're fit, into the arts. Tom's none of this things. He's fat, he's got a mass of body hair, bad breath…it's like he's only gay in his brain.

Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania