Chief: Tom's got it all wrong. Most of the gay men I meet are eloquent, they're fit, into the arts. Tom's none of this things. He's fat, he's got a mass of body hair, bad breath…it's like he's only gay in his brain.

Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania

Cube rat #1: Kids say the darndest things…
Cube rat #2: That's why I ain't had no kids.

Horsham, Pennsylvania

Coworker: So she was telling me she had no money to pay her bill because she invested all her money into a llama farm, and then the llamas got slaughtered.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: WD40

CSR on phone: Please sir, stop yelling at me. (pause) You do not need to swear at me. (pause) You call me that one more time and I'm going to hang up. (pause) Yeah, I'm still here. (pause, then hangs up) The best part was he told me to die.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: headsethottie

Female coworker, about current object of infatuation: Oh…he is so cute, you have to see him. I just love him. I will bring in his mugshot.
Male coworker: He has a mugshot?
Female coworker: Yeah, but he only beats his girlfriends when he is on drugs. He is so sweet. He used to save me a seat on the bus when we were in school.

Mountville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mindy

Announcement: We are currently experiencing a telephone outage. For
emergencies and medical conditions, please call [498-8565].

3811 O’Hara Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Office manager: …and his mantle, it’s made out of Bubinga!
Designer: What the hell is Bubinga?
Writer: It’s Ubuntu’s neighbor?
Designer: Do they have a Wiki?
Writer: Yeah, I think they do!

100 West Broad Street
Hazleton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Slave to technology

Woman ordering: Guess what I want today!
Sandwich guy: The usual?
Woman ordering, completely seriously: Yeah, except I'm going to change a few things up. Like…the bread and the stuff on it, ya know?

Horsham, Pennsylvania

Younger guy peon: You know, I’ve never had any experience with ladies from the Pacific Rim.
Older guy peon: Really? Well, lemme tell you something. Their hair down there is dark, straight, and soft.
Younger guy peon, thoughtfully: … Like a puppy dog’s ears?

Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Beef and Ale

Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I'm in you.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: a little small