Female coworker: No way! Don't be squirting me with none of your man crap!

Mansfield, Pennsylvania

Female 30-something coworker: I know after my c-section, I never got my feeling back down there.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: confused by those parts

Sassy employee: Just give me my fucking heaven ticket, bitch! I just want to go to heaven.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: She's not a hater, just a discriminator

Coworker #1: You were looking for me earlier?
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah, I came down to see you earlier. I needed something to suck on.

Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Probationee: You’re a good listener. You really listen when I talk to you. You’re like a pedophile.
Probation officer: A what?
Probationee: A pedophile, you know. Someone who is a good listener.

Lancaster County Offices
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Office cougar: I figure I'll just overwhelm him with great sex and he'll completely forget he's allergic to cats!

Reading, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: princess pink

Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.

Levittown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Flynn

Dispatcher peering into Tupperware container: I am so sick of kielbasa I could kick Jesus in the shins!

Emergency center

Female coworker: All we ended up doing all weekend was watching porn and movies about jazz musicians.

Broad St & Cecil B. Moore Ave
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Co-worker: Do you want to tell them the truth?
Boss: What’s the truth?
Co-worker: The truth is that you can’t go and I don’t feel like it.
Boss: So you want to tell them that?
Co-worker: Yeah.
Boss: Do you want to tell them the truth or the enchanced version of the truth?

100 Chesley Drive
Media, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Back Office Peon