Boss: Can you put an extra postage on that envelope?
Office manager: Sure, why?
Boss: ‘Cause it gets there faster when you add an extra postage.
Office manager: Ummm… I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make it go faster.
Boss: [Blank stare] Well… Just do it anyway.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female coworker: No way! Don't be squirting me with none of your man crap!
Mansfield, Pennsylvania
Female 30-something coworker: I know after my c-section, I never got my feeling back down there.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: confused by those parts
Sassy employee: Just give me my fucking heaven ticket, bitch! I just want to go to heaven.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: She's not a hater, just a discriminator
Coworker #1: You were looking for me earlier?
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah, I came down to see you earlier. I needed something to suck on.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Probationee: You’re a good listener. You really listen when I talk to you. You’re like a pedophile.
Probation officer: A what?
Probationee: A pedophile, you know. Someone who is a good listener.
Lancaster County Offices
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Office cougar: I figure I'll just overwhelm him with great sex and he'll completely forget he's allergic to cats!
Reading, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: princess pink
Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.
Levittown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Flynn
Dispatcher peering into Tupperware container: I am so sick of kielbasa I could kick Jesus in the shins!
Emergency center
Pennsylvania
Female coworker: All we ended up doing all weekend was watching porn and movies about jazz musicians.
Broad St & Cecil B. Moore Ave
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
