Manager: Here's the office supply cabinet. Do you need anything?
First-day-on-the-job peon: Oh yeah! A pad of paper. I like to take dubious notes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Manager: Here's the office supply cabinet. Do you need anything?
First-day-on-the-job peon: Oh yeah! A pad of paper. I like to take dubious notes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Coworker #1: What is Cirque du Soleil anyway?
Coworker #2: I went to the website — it looks like it’s just a bunch of Asians stretching.
Columbus, Ohio
Customer service rep to client: Yeah, you just did the opposite of what I just said. But that's fine. You can do it that way.
Columbus, Ohio
Insurance agent on phone: I don't care if she's a bleeder!
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: maybe I do!
Always medicated coworker: So John*, are you feeling better today?
John: Yes, thanks. By the way, your hair looks nice today.
Always medicated coworker: Yeah, I think it's the sinus infection.
Broadview Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: PrincessButtercup
Office peon: When I was little I Dream of Jeannie always made me tense. I think it was the chaos.
25 South Front Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: emf
Customer's spawn: I hope we get change so I can get the pennies with Lincoln on them!
Bagger: Dude… All pennies have Lincoln on them.
Medina, Ohio
Overheard by: Foxtrot
Worker #1: Today was like International Day at McDonalds this morning. Not one person spoke with a Midwest accent…I was gonna be like, “Oh, they are so fucking up my breakfast.”
Worker #2: Did you hear that there are more terrorists in Ohio?
Worker #1: Yeah? First they want to blow up our malls here in the city, now kill the President. They are always in Ohio. You never hear about them in like, Montana. That’s where the Nazis are.
Worker #3: Yeah, the terrorists are up there on the 4th floor…You should go up there.
Worker #2: I’m not going up there.
Worker #1: They do have a nice floor up there.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Employee: Why can’t you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I’m not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn’t work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn’t fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You’re damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won’t have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don’t push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Butcher #1: What does that bacon look like to you
Butcher #2: An abortion?
Butcher #1: Exactly. So fix it!
1177 W. Market Street
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Nate Kelly
