Guy: I’m so beat. I stayed out till 4am drinking last night. I was going to go take a nap in the car, but I think that would be too obvious.
Girl: You can take a nap on the picnic table over there. Then maybe a cop will show up and arrest you because he thinks you’re homeless.
Guy: Bitch! This is business casual!
23825 Commerce Park
Beachwood, Ohio
Art Director: What did you mean when you said that HR is going to work differently?
Exec: Oh, it’s going to work now.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Head of technology development: I'm going to spend some time on Twitter. What do you call that? I'm going to twat?
Female employee: No, I don't think that could possibly be right.
Grove City, Ohio
Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle “c” after everything.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Coworker, after scavenging through lunch meeting leftovers: My sandwich didn’t look very fulfilling so I added some corned beef.
Fellow scavenger: Wait -there was corned beef in there?
Coworker: No, I keep some in my office for emergencies.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Nook
Eight-year-old boy looking at DVD: Carnival.
Father: Read that again.
Eight-year-old boy: Car… Carb… Cannibal.
Father: Yeah, that means ‘meat eater.’
Eight-year-old boy, after pause: Another word for that is ‘carnivore.’
Father: Oh, I guess that actually means, ‘One who eats their own’. [Longer pause] You know, once at a job site I was working at we had a guy who was arrested and taken away for cannibalism… But that wasn’t in America.
Video Store, 5600 Bigger Road
Kettering, Ohio
Boss: Hey, are you working hard…?
Employee: Or hardly working? Wait… I mean, “yes, I'm working hard.”
Cleveland, Ohio
Boss to secretary: Can you clean your juice off my drawers?
Grandview, Ohio
Overheard by: Midnight Meat Train
Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.
1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio
Engineer cleaning out her purse: Hey look! I had four cereal bars in there!
Geeky coworker: Look at the way those are laying next to each other on the desk, one right next to the other… Those aren’t cereal, they are parallel universes!
Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
