I Think Destiny's Child Gave That Hallmark Card to Beyonce

Coworker to colleague at going away party, unaware that boss is right behind him: I'm sorry you're leaving… but I don't blame you.

Florence, Alabama

Overheard by: glad it wasn't me

Posted on September 26, 2014
Alabama, Bosses, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Office Politics

I Gotta Say, She Gives Me Hope

Secretary on phone to other secretary: Yeah, I know, like he wants us to go out and pull people off the street to get them in here… What the fuck? (pause) Oh, the hooker who works at the corner by the station is still alive, I saw her the other day, some dude dropped her off out front, she got out wiping her mouth, ewwww, it was totally nasty! But she's still alive!

Lincoln Park, Michigan

Posted on September 18, 2014
Admins, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Office Politics, On the phone, Sexuality, Violence

You're a Good Speaker If Even Half Your Audience Takes Your Advice

Employee #1: So this presentation on customer service was just so stupid! The speaker kept saying that to diffuse tense situations, you should reiterate back to the customer why they're upset to show that you understand their point of view! I totally disagree. I hate when that happens! That's just so dumb.
Employee #2: So if I understand this correctly, Alan*, you think it's a bad idea to summarize why a customer is unhappy and restate that back to them.
Employee #1: Yes, exactly!

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on September 14, 2014
Employees, General Idiocy, Georgia, Gripes, Insults, Office Politics

Barbara Bush Has a Similar Issue

Oldest employee: You know the structure of the company? Can you tell me who our President is?
Young employee: Your son.

Port Washington, New York

Overheard by: Chenga

Posted on September 11, 2014
Employees, Family, New York, Office Politics, Questions

Unless You Drink the Coffee I Prepared for You

Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day…
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to “progress”!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then…
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Carver Stone

Posted on September 5, 2014
Bosses and Underlings, Canadia, Comebacks, Office Politics

I Will Need Additional Information to Arrive at a Decision

Exec: I’ll be right back, so don’t lock me out.
Cleaning lady: If I knew who the hell you were, maybe I’d consider it.
Exec: I’m the reason you have a job.

725 East 40th Street
Holland, Michigan

Overheard by: INTERN

Posted on August 31, 2014
Blue Collar, Executives, Michigan, Office Politics, Threats, Violence

Pop Quiz: How Hard Should the Manager Hit the Employee?

Office manager: Why aren't you wearing a tie today?
Worker: Oh, well… I'm going to see a client, so I didn't think I needed one on today.
Office manager: All the more reason to wear a tie.
Worker: Well, I'm in the office, so I didn't think that I had to wear one.
Office manager, pulling out employee handbook: It says right here: “all employees must always be dressed appropriately. Men wearing dress slacks, button-down shirt, and tie.”
Worker: Oh! See, ties don't really work for me. But that's okay, right?

Staten Island

Posted on August 20, 2014
Bosses, Clothes, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, New York, Office Politics, Physical Appearance, Questions

If They’re Screaming, They’re Talking to Themselves

Co-worker #1: I’m waiting for your response.
Co-worker #2: I just said something!
Co-worker #1: Oh, I can’t tell when you’re talking to me or to yourself.

330 Madison Ave
New York, NY

Overheard by: LRC