Employee #1: I don’t understand what his problem is…
Employee #2: His problem? He’s low-level and he’s stupid.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
Employee #1: I don’t understand what his problem is…
Employee #2: His problem? He’s low-level and he’s stupid.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
Male attorney to another: We're not going to circulate this externally, not yet. If we want to do that internally, that's fine–that can be just between us girls.
Bethesda, Maryland
Worker bee: If you’re not willing to come in on your days off, you can’t complain about being short-staffed.
UK
Division manager, addressing 200-member division: As part of the new policy, employees will not be allowed to carry over vacation days to next year.
District manager: Could I use days I have left in the first week of January?
Voice from speakerphone: That's next year, asshole!
(stunned silence)
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jack Satan
Coworker to colleague at going away party, unaware that boss is right behind him: I'm sorry you're leaving… but I don't blame you.
Florence, Alabama
Overheard by: glad it wasn't me
Secretary on phone to other secretary: Yeah, I know, like he wants us to go out and pull people off the street to get them in here… What the fuck? (pause) Oh, the hooker who works at the corner by the station is still alive, I saw her the other day, some dude dropped her off out front, she got out wiping her mouth, ewwww, it was totally nasty! But she's still alive!
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Employee #1: So this presentation on customer service was just so stupid! The speaker kept saying that to diffuse tense situations, you should reiterate back to the customer why they're upset to show that you understand their point of view! I totally disagree. I hate when that happens! That's just so dumb.
Employee #2: So if I understand this correctly, Alan*, you think it's a bad idea to summarize why a customer is unhappy and restate that back to them.
Employee #1: Yes, exactly!
Atlanta, Georgia
Oldest employee: You know the structure of the company? Can you tell me who our President is?
Young employee: Your son.
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Chenga
Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day…
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to “progress”!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then…
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Exec: I’ll be right back, so don’t lock me out.
Cleaning lady: If I knew who the hell you were, maybe I’d consider it.
Exec: I’m the reason you have a job.
725 East 40th Street
Holland, Michigan
Overheard by: INTERN
