Tech manager: The sales manager cannot take that complaint call because he is preparing to go to a CRM meeting.
Tech supervisor: What is CRM?
Tech manager: Customer relations management.
Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that?
Tech manager: Well, they are having this meeting so that this sort of problem doesn’t happen.
Tech supervisor: Can you see the irony in that, too?
Houston, Texas
Co-worker: I really wish they served beer in the vending machines…by the way, I’m not really an alcoholic, it’s just been one of those days… oh, by the way, you’re new, right? My name’s [Libby], nice to meet you!
300 South Main Street
Blacksburg, Virginia
Manager: Oh, good. As long as she doesn't know what she's doing, we're okay.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: BeccaGo
(phone rings)
Associate #1: What's the deal with the ringing phone?
Associate #2: Do you think we're supposed to answer it?
(phone keeps ringing)
Associate #3: What if it's not for us? What do we say?
Associate #1: Who do you think they're calling for?
(assistant runs in from next office and answers)
Atlanta, Georgia
Voice mail, on speakerphone: Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail of Linda Stevens*. I am away from…
Manager: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…
Voice mail: [Beeps.]Manager: Linda! Will you give me a call when you get a chance? Thanks!
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overworked peon: I told Julia to take a box cutter to your jugular if she saw you come in.
Boss: That's not nice!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Employee #1: I don’t understand what his problem is…
Employee #2: His problem? He’s low-level and he’s stupid.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: CB
Male attorney to another: We're not going to circulate this externally, not yet. If we want to do that internally, that's fine–that can be just between us girls.
Bethesda, Maryland
Worker bee: If you’re not willing to come in on your days off, you can’t complain about being short-staffed.
UK
Division manager, addressing 200-member division: As part of the new policy, employees will not be allowed to carry over vacation days to next year.
District manager: Could I use days I have left in the first week of January?
Voice from speakerphone: That's next year, asshole!
(stunned silence)
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jack Satan
