Human resources drone: I mean, we have some wine here but as the human resource person, I can't advocate for us drinking it while at work. I mean, we are a work-free environment.
Seattle, Washington
Human resources drone: I mean, we have some wine here but as the human resource person, I can't advocate for us drinking it while at work. I mean, we are a work-free environment.
Seattle, Washington
Loud chick: Why bother callin' it a vacation day when you can just call in sick?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Supervisor at staff meeting: In our department we found snowflakes and icicles to be non-religious decorations.
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: offended by these decorations
Peon, after colleague leaves: I thought we agreed you weren’t going to talk to him so he wouldn’t come over any more!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Manager to lead: Go ahead and audit her drawer tonight. We're supposed to audit everyone once a week.
Cashier: Go ahead, since it'll be quick. How often are my drawers off anyway?
Passing coworker: Every. Night.
Lee's Summit, Missouri
Overheard by: Alicia
Employee to coworker who won't stop talking: Oh, yeah, you get all mouthy now. But when the auditors come by, you get quiet and have diarrhea.
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: factory drone
Supervisor to art director, while playing with digital camera: I am also deleting these photos, well–they should have been deleted a long time ago–but those ones of me on my knees.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Employee to cafe cashier: I'm going to give you all one dollar today okay? I used to couldn't do that before.
Westborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jen Miller
Worker #1: Working in an office has posed one major conundrum.
Worker #2: What's that?
Worker #1: Taking a shit.
Worker #2: Oh?
Worker #1: Yeah! At least when you work in retail you have those big restrooms that the public uses as well…
Worker #2: …
Worker #1: So when you shat you could blame it on the customers in the stall or go damn somebody dropped a biggun in here and the other employees would totally be unawares. In an office, it's a single toilet in the room and everybody sees you leave the crapper.
Worker #2: Yeah, I know what you mean I usually hold it.
Worker #1: I think I've developed stealth poo tactics. I'm like a poo ninja.
Worker #3: You know, you could just go to the other side of the building and shit in their toilets… Worker 1; poo ninja!!!!
Cincinnati OH
Overheard by: Ned No D
Boss: So why aren't they meeting their targets?
Project manager: The original estimates assumed attrition, and they haven't had any. (awkward pause) Except death.
Cincinnati, Ohio
