Manager: Can you find these three files in our system?
Ditzy librarian: Sure. It'll either take me five minutes, or longer than five minutes.
Mississauga
Ontaro
Canadia
Manager: Can you find these three files in our system?
Ditzy librarian: Sure. It'll either take me five minutes, or longer than five minutes.
Mississauga
Ontaro
Canadia
Businessman: Can I get a decaf cappuccino?
Waiter: Actually, we only have regular cappuccino here.
Businessman: Okay, I'll have one of those, just give me your phone number so I have somebody to talk to when I can't sleep tonight.
State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss (giving papers to peon) Would you please fax these for me ASAP?
Peon (taking papers) Sure thing.
Peon (faxes, brings back papers) Here you go.
Boss: I thought I told you to fax these!
San Diego, California
Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.
California
Manager: What does the word “nugatory” mean?
Employee: I don’t know but it sounds important.
Manager: I’ll see if I can slip it into my next talk to staff, they won’t know the difference.
North Terrace
Adelaide, South Australia
Employee: Why can’t you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I’m not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn’t work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn’t fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You’re damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won’t have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don’t push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Project manager: Stop making love over the phone!
810 Seventh Avenue
New York, New York
Producer to receptionist: Hey, do you have that intern's cell number? I'm trying to see if she can come in at 8 on Monday.
Receptionist: Yeah, I just called her. She's in the middle of, like, a Jonas Brothers concert or something.
Manhattan, New York
Waitress to customer: Can I get you something to drink?
Customer: We've never been to Moab before, so we don't know what we want to drink.
Restaurant
Moab, Utah
Concerned coworker: Please don't give Brian's pants any more cake.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Sarah R
