Supervisor: This was supposed to be done hours ago, what is taking so long?
Employee: I was too busy working on my resume so I can get a better job.
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
Supervisor: This was supposed to be done hours ago, what is taking so long?
Employee: I was too busy working on my resume so I can get a better job.
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
Boss: Why don’t I just shove a sock down your throat to shut you up?
Secretary: Yeah that’s fine, just make sure it’s not the sock you stuff your pants with!
Company Office
Fort Drum, New York
Interviewer: Are you persuasive?
Candidate: I call it force of personality. Like, I read people and
then I get them to do things by acting different ways. Like some people, I yell at them. I’m not mean but I yell at them. But like my boss, I can’t yell at him.
Interviewer:Because he’s your boss?
Candidate: No. He does better if I do like, a little girl act. You know? Like, “Oh please.”
Interviewer: Um, okay. So, who is your favorite designer?…This isn’t a trick question. I just want to know.
Candidate: My favorite designer is United Colors of Benetton.
721 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: mean girls
Boss: Just because I don’t wear my clothes to work doesn’t mean I don’t have them.
55 Elk Street
Albany, New York
Overheard by: clothed employee
Male peon: I’m confused… What ever happened to the dad on Good Times? Did he actually die?
Lady peon: I don’t think so, but I’m going to be really sad when Carl Weathers dies.
51st Street and Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Head cashier: Suck my cock!
Cashier: I'm gonna hang you by your ovaries!
Lake Success, New York
Executive Woman: Yes, I understand…True dat. Er, I mean, we have also found that to be the case.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Office worker: I ran 16 miles last night.
Rep: You ran 16 miles… I ran for 12 minutes. Does that count?
Office worker: I am training for a marathon. I came home at 10 pm last night and my knees were all bloody.
Rep: Oh, did you fall?
Office worker: Yeah, twice.
Rep: And you kept on running?
Office worker: Yeah.
Rep: The only thing coming out of my veins is booze!
Buffalo, New York
New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
