Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.
Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.
Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Designer on phone: You lost your chi? Is it with your red shirt? He stole your chi? He's a chi-stealer!
Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Editrix
Suit #1: Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you in forever! Still married?
Suit #2: Yup, expecting my first.
Suit #1: Really! When?
Suit #2: November 7th. Bitch finally finished her PhD so she could work, and now she’s pregnant!
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Trainer: Now, see, you just click and drag, like this. (he clicks and drags)
Employee: Wait, can you show me that again?
Saratoga Springs, New York
Coworker #1: Well, do they exude toxins?
Coworker #2: I dunno.
Coworker #1: The doctor had her block off one nostril and it shot right out. Just like CPR!
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Does this end with monkeys again?
Receptionist: How was everything today?
Male client: Oh, it was great! The massage was great, though I couldn't understand a word she said.
Receptionist: Well, it's a good thing that she's not massaging you with her mouth!
Day Spa
Manhattan, New York
Associate: Do you think you could survive if we dropped you in the middle of the rainforest?
Temp: No way — I would die for sure.
Associate: What about if we dropped you in a Wal-Mart?
383 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!
Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Heavy D
Coworker #1: Oh, can’t find the paper clips.
Coworker #2: Can’t find ’em?
Coworker #1: Nope, just like yesterday…where do they all go?
Coworker #2: I don’t know.
Coworker #1: I don’t know either.
Pause
Coworker #2: Do you want some of mine?
Coworker #1: Sure.
Coworker #2: How many would you like?
Coworker #1: Hmmm…well, I just need one for now, but I might need some more later…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha, if you were on Survivor, your treasure would be paper clips.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha, that’s right — dontcha know…
Coworker #2: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #1: Ha, ha, ha.
Coworker #2: Girl, please.
261 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Sales guy to another: The town I grew up in was a little village, like a Mayberry; it had bars and stuff to do…
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Mayberry had alcohol!?
