Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
Coworker, after conversation with boss: A fetus could come up with better ideas.
Melville, New York
Patient: Yeah, I have a twin brother about my age.
Presbyterian Hospital
New York, New York
Overheard by: Speechless RN
Lawyer: If he was downstairs in the Girl Scout’s uniform, that would’ve been even better.
43rd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York
CEO, during meeting: Okay, that will wrap it up. Does anyone have anything else?
Manager: I just want everyone to know that I won't be around this weekend because my ex-wife told the kids they won't be having any fun this summer because she doesn't have any money. I am going to pick them up and try and let them have fun. So if you need me I won't be around.
(all room is silent)
CEO: Okay, then does anyone have anything else today?
Manhattan, New York
Engineer: So, did you enjoy your Cinco de Mayo?
Secretary: Um. I was in Rhode Island for the weekend…
Engineer: Yeah, so?
Secretary: Ever been?
Engineer: Yeah, couple of times… what’s your point?
Secretary: Heh. Rhode Island is like the white-bread capital, at least the part where I go is.
Engineer: Okaayyy… so there was no Cinco de Mayo celebration?
Secretary: Dude, lemme put it this way for ya: It’s so damn white up there, they have white gardeners. Mexicans are like freakin’ nonexistant up there. And don’t even get me started on the nonexistance of black people. Hell, the last time I saw a black person while I was up there was the one we brought with us. . .and she kept singin’ “Massa got me workin'” just to freak the rest of the whities out.
One Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: *snicker*
Worker #1: I can’t believe [Jim] didn’t show up for the meeting.
Worker #2: I know. He has some nerve.
Worker #1: I hope he gets a painful rash in the anal region…if you know what I mean.
245 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Office drone, about son's sports team: Those are the easiest balls to get on top of.
Hawthorne, New York
Office idiot: Dublin and Luxembourg is two different places, right?
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Metrosexual CSR: I don’t know — I just feel like most normal straight men shouldn’t know all the lyrics to Rent.
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Male assistant on phone: I think I’d know if I’d given birth.
Madison Avenue Office Building
New York City, New York
