New York

Employee #1: You don’t like Safari?
Employee #2: No, man, all those popups…
Employee #1: Popups are great. Firefox is douche.

42-22 22nd Street
Long Island City, New York

Overheard by: Aaron

Queer admin guy #1: They made another round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are really expensive, too.
Queer admin guy #2: What were they, four inches?
Queer admin guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight admin girl: But is three inches enough? Do you think?
Queer admin guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight admin girl: No! No no no no no!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Scooter

VP: But how will we make grilled cheese?
Drone: With the toaster oven.
VP: Well, I never, you’ll have to show me how to use it.
Drone: Have you used a toaster?
VP: Yes!
Drone: Have you used an oven?
VP: YES!
Drone: Then you can use a toaster oven.
VP: Well, I have never seen such a thing.

Benzing Road
Orchard Park, New York

Coworker: Derek’s* married? To a WOMAN?!

165 West 46th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Beth

Manager: It starts on the first half, and all of a sudden we’re on the next-to-last half.

100 Broadway
New York, New York

Senior engineer: And just when everybody is about to explode…bam! Ice cream!

Albany, New York

Male Co-worker: Are my ears bleeding?
Female Co-worker: I didn’t know I was that loud. I’m sorry. I had the volume down.
Male Co-worker: It’s just your voice, you’re loud. I have excellent hearing. Put it this way, I can hear a snake piss on cotton.

5 Times Square
New York, NY

Overheard by: Tamika J.

Receptionist #1: Where's Linda today?
Receptionist #2: She's gonna be out for a while, she's having surgery on her thyroid.
Dentist: I didn't even know she had a thyroid.

Bayside, New York

Extremely Long Island woman to receptionist: So, Dr Wong will be coming in at two to use the computer. She is a very nice oriental lady.

Dental Supply Office
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I have a rug like that

Foreign coworker: What is a ‘jigga’?
Male coworker: I don’t know, I’m Turkish.
Female coworker: I don’t know, I’m White.

44th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York