Young drone: Do you realize that everything you print has the heading ‘Dead’ on it?
Old drone: I wish they’d change that.
441 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Worker #1 answers the phone: Hello?…No, this is a law firm. A law firm!
Worker #2: Who did they want?
Worker #1: The SPCA.
Worker #2: Heh.
Worker #1: Although there are a lot of animals working here.
120 West 45th Street
New York, NY
Client: I used to know a girl in school that always played with my hair… She was always messin’ with my hair.
Hairdresser: Do you know what happened to her? Maybe she became a hairstylist?
Client: Oh no… I doubt it… She was really smart.
Hair Salon
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: ColorMeFabulous
Sick coworker, in sing-songy voice: Vodka and antibiotics …what more could you neeeeeed?
New York City, New York
Cube guy: … And what did you say?
Cube girl: I told her he never deserved her in the first place.
Cube guy: That’s for sure.
Cube girl: And frankly, the smartest thing she ever did was put that bullet in his car.
Cube guy: I know!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Professor: Does anyone have questions about the importance of the flood myth in the Bible and the Epic of Gilgamesh?
Student: Well, when it flooded and everything died, what happened to all the fish?
Professor: Well, it was a flood… So I think they were okay…
Skidmore College
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: Stared in disbelief
Casting assistant: …I mean… If you’re not going to type your letter, you might want to make sure that your handwriting doesn’t make you look like a serial killer.
Diamond Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Proofreader: I have a totally exciting life . . . I think it’s why I eat so much candy.
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Latino guy to new coworker girl: Nice to meet you. What do you do?
New coworker girl: I'm an art director. What are you?
Latino guy: I'm Latino.
Advertising Industry Party
New York City, New York
Black FedEx guy: You married yet?
White banker guy: Haven't met the right girl yet.
Black FedEx guy: There are no white girls!
Banker guy: No right girl.
Black FedEx guy: There are no right girls either. You just got to pick one and marry them and have some kids, that's what I did.
Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: CDog
