Boss: I don’t need to see everything before it goes out the door. Just send me a final, final, rough draft.
Union Square
New York, New York
Boss: I don’t need to see everything before it goes out the door. Just send me a final, final, rough draft.
Union Square
New York, New York
Office grunt: I don’t know where he gets it from… No, wait, I know where he gets it from — he sucks the energy of others.
Software office
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Lauren
Finance: There must be something in between “tax accountant” and
“undercover narc.”
156 W. 56th Street
New York, NY
Employee #1: Well, you should move to New Jersey. There are great apartments in my complex.
Employee #2: I don’t know that I want to move out there.
Employee #1: The apartments are great, lots of closet space, granite countertops in the kitchen.
Employee #2: I don’t want granite counters. If I fall and hit my head on them, it would hurt.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Old German woman: Do you have any coffee grinders?
Starbucks barista: No, we don't sell them here.
Old German woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Starbucks barista: Well, you could try another Starbucks, or Bed Bath & Beyond.
Old German woman: How illogical! Who would want to grind coffee in bed?!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: it be beyond
Marketing chick #1: Your pants look much better. I’m glad you got them fixed.
Marketing chick #2: Thanks; nothing beats running around the office in my underwear for half an hour.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Girl on phone: It’s like, ‘A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,’ but in your case, ‘A burrito, a burrito, the health of my inner ear for a burrito.’ It’s truly sad.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t-shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair
Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
