Exec: Look, I don’t care about the Weekly World News. All I want to know is how this affects the Bigfoot cover!
Star Magazine
1 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Exec: Look, I don’t care about the Weekly World News. All I want to know is how this affects the Bigfoot cover!
Star Magazine
1 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Office drone #1: Hello, may I help you? (pause) Who? Allen Michaels?* Please hold.
(shouting) Does anyone know where Allen* is?
Office drone #2: He's not in yet. Don't know where he is.
Office drone #1: I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. He said he'll call you back. (pause) Yes, he knows it's urgent. Thank you. (hangs up)
Brooklyn
New York
Overheard by: Jay-B (I work in a wacky place)
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
CSR to another: I am so tired today… I couldn't sleep last night. First I was waiting to check the Powerball numbers, and then found out I didn't win and have to go back to work today. I was so mad I couldn't fall asleep!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: unleaded
Receptionist: Farce? Is that like farts?
352 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Security guard: This guy comes in with an orange juice bottle of vodka every morning! Gimme a shot of that!
Nerdy office worker: Do you really think I look like an alchie? An alchemist, maybe…
Manhattan, New York
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
Guy in elevator: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You have no personal power!”
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Coworker on phone: What?! Suck on it?! No, never! I would never suck on it… I’ve used my hands and fingers, but I would never put that in my mouth! We’re not animals! [Hangs up and notices coworkers staring. Turns out it was about cleaning a newborn’s nose.]
3 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: the quiet one
Lou*: Who do I call to get a shirt for the trade show?
Jen*: You email Erin*.
Lou: Can I just copy you in so I have a witness that this year I ordered a men’s shirt?
Lake Success, New York
