Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Awkward intern: Did you have a menage a trois?
Coworker: What? No.
Awkward intern: I bet you did. Wait, what's a menage a trois?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: tC
Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice
Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?
Cute female receptionist: What's wrong with my shoes?
Boss: They're covered in scuff marks.
Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they're not scuff marks, it's pigeon crap.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Dasma
Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Queer (in tears): What you did hurt me, it hurt me to the core!
Fag hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: That was my song, I sing that song–you stole it from me!
Fag hag: It's a song, it's karaoke…fucking get over it!
Queer (still in tears): You don't understand, it's my song!
Brooklyn, New York
Male colleague: Feeling any better?
Female colleague: Sort of.
Male colleague: Did you go make yourself throw up?
Female colleague: No, I can’t do that.
Male colleague: Oh, you’re one of those people. I can do it on command. I have a very weak sphincter.
530 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: ap
Female customer: Excuse me, what is this?
Guy behind counter: It’s gazpacho soup.
Female customer: But it’s cold.
Guy behind counter: It’s supposed to be served chilled.
Female customer: But you said it was soup.
Hospital cafeteria
New York, New York
Gary: Hey Dave, do I need to be more of a dick or less of a dick?
Dave: Nah, the dick quotient is fine, we just need to coordinate ahead of time.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: thenewguy
