Male colleague: Feeling any better?
Female colleague: Sort of.
Male colleague: Did you go make yourself throw up?
Female colleague: No, I can’t do that.
Male colleague: Oh, you’re one of those people. I can do it on command. I have a very weak sphincter.
530 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: ap
Female customer: Excuse me, what is this?
Guy behind counter: It’s gazpacho soup.
Female customer: But it’s cold.
Guy behind counter: It’s supposed to be served chilled.
Female customer: But you said it was soup.
Hospital cafeteria
New York, New York
Gary: Hey Dave, do I need to be more of a dick or less of a dick?
Dave: Nah, the dick quotient is fine, we just need to coordinate ahead of time.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: thenewguy
Co-worker #1: Did you hear about that audition?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: You didn’t get that email?
Co-worker #2: No. My email must be broken.
Co-worker #1: What else haven’t you gotten?
Co-worker #2: Well, if my email is broken, how could I possibly know that?
270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Director of content: It's hard to be slutty in flannel.
Manhattan, New York
Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.
Victor, New York
Overheard by: Yikes!
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Employee: That astronaut chick had to be totally nuts to put on a diaper and drive 13 hours to whack that other woman.
Boss: Well, astronauts do have to wear diapers in space. She probably had some around the house.
Employee: Oh? So it’s part of her culture.
Boss, laughing: When the cops finally caught her, she calmly said, ‘This was a bad idea.’
Employee: The gun or the diapers?
7 West 29th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fabio
Pizza worker: Hello, XYZ Pizza* — will this be for pick up or delivery?
Customer: Delivery, but we will come in to pay for it.
Pizza worker: Pardon me? Do you want your order delivered or will you pick it up?
Customer, to someone in background: Do you want to just pick the food up if we are going in there anyways? [Into phone] I guess we will pick the food up.
Lackawanna, New York
