Saleswoman to another, returning from restroom: Damn, that Indian food really does clean you out!
Friend: Yeah, its like Roto-Rooter!
Saks Fifth Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Saleswoman to another, returning from restroom: Damn, that Indian food really does clean you out!
Friend: Yeah, its like Roto-Rooter!
Saks Fifth Ave
Overheard by: agreed
Employee emerging from stockroom, singing: Tookie’s in the house! Y’all already know what he’s about!
Office supply store
New York, New York
Overheard by: NCS
Queen: I tell you what you do. You put her computer inside a Krispy Kreme box, maybe then she’ll get some work done.
142 Greene Street
New York, NY
Five-year-old boy: I have a tooth that’s loose! It’s gonna come out, and then I’m gonna put it under a pillow, and then I’m gonna get money and buy a tooth, and then I’m gonna put it under my pillow and get money and buy a toy, and then an adult tooth will grow in.
Librarian: Wow! You learn something new every day!
Five-year-old boy: It’s the basic law of science.
Library
Bronxville, New York
Law Firm Girl: Who gives a shit about work; do you subscribe to Good Housekeeping?
100 Maiden Lane
New York, NY
Voicemail: Please state your name and excuse for absence.
Employee: I’m too drunk to drive.
167 3rd Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Receptionist on phone: Hello, law offices…Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number. This is a law office. No, this law office has nothing to do with the Maury Show. Sir, you know, I really think you have the wrong number…No, our number is nothing like that…Well, I don’t know, are you drunk? Really? Well, good for you…Okay, well, good luck in getting through to Maury.
350 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Banker: What will 50 pounds get me in London?
Analyst: You want the currency translation?
Banker: No.
Analyst: Okay then, 25 beers!
2215 43rd Avenue
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Olivia
U-Haul guy #1: Okay! Pickup on the right…dropoffs on the left.
U-Haul guy #2: Yeah…Pickups on the left, dropoffs on the right.
U-Haul guy #1: What? No! You’re fucking it up, dickhead!
3270 Broadway
New York, NY
