Lawyer on phone: Well, he doesn't need his dick to go to work, does he?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Lawyer on phone: Well, he doesn't need his dick to go to work, does he?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Secretary to cater-waiter carrying glassware: I can hear you tinkling!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
(coworker #1 launches stress ball at coworker #2)
Coworker #2: Good thing you throw like a girl.
Coworker #1: Ya know, you're like the opposite of United Way: you bring out the worst in me.
Coworker #1: I'm pretty sure that's not their motto.
Coworker #2: I'm pretty sure you're still fucking annoying. (waits a moment) Yep.
East Midtown
New York City, New York
Overheard by: The Temp
Office girl: Smell your fingers.
Office guy: Ewww, what is that?
Office girl: Smells like petroleum jelly, right?
Office guy: Ugh!
Office girl: Toxic, right?!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Lawyer on phone: Well yes, he has a lot of problems… Most pressing of which is that his penis is malfunctioning.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Female coworker: I love Hawaii, been there four times already.
Male coworker: Oh, so you like to travel a lot?
Female coworker: No, I go to Hawaii to visit my sister, it's not like I'm a member of the mile high club or anything.
Long Island City, New York
Overheard by: oh no u didn't
New guy: It felt really weird when I put it in my mouth, and I don't know… I didn't like it.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: The WC
Conductor, over loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we've found the glitch in this temporary schedule, some genius has us leaving at 8:22, so we'll now sit here a full 10 minutes! Sorry for the delay. (several minutes later) Ladies and gentlemen, once again, we're waiting for time to catch up to us, we've got 4 minutes left until we've left the station.
Manhattan, New York
Receptionist: You should use tap water instead of Poland Spring to make coffee.
Secretary: You make coffee your way, and we’ll make it our way.
Receptionist: How much do each of those jugs cost?
Secretary: What? Look, just…The water is brown and it smells bad.
Receptionist: The water is not brown and it does not smell bad.
Secretary: Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.
Receptionist: Since when is a known fact an opinion?
113 University Place
New York, NY
Broker #1: Why is she laughing?
Broker #2: She already told you — she thinks it’s funny to buy gag candy and make everyone in the office fart.
Broker #1 laughs.
Broker #2: I mean, she’s so young. We all want to kill the other people in the office and she just wants to make them fart.
Broker #1: Look at her, she’s still laughing.
Broker #2: Ah, youth. All they do is giggle.
399 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: LH
