HR guy: So, I told him, “I am sorry that this incident ruined your Christmas.” And he told me “you are not sorry!” So I tell him “at least I'm pretending to be sorry.”
Manhattan, New York
HR guy: So, I told him, “I am sorry that this incident ruined your Christmas.” And he told me “you are not sorry!” So I tell him “at least I'm pretending to be sorry.”
Manhattan, New York
Voice mail, on speakerphone: Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail of Linda Stevens*. I am away from…
Manager: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…
Voice mail: [Beeps.]Manager: Linda! Will you give me a call when you get a chance? Thanks!
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Female coworker #1: Why are you looking at my stomach?
Female coworker #2: I ain't looking at your stomach. I am looking *down there*.
Female coworker #1: What's “down there”?
New York City, New York
Salesperson #1: Violence is okay…just as long as no one is enjoying it.
Salesperson #2: What about spanking?
850 Third Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Effina
Guy at sink to guy at urinal: Any more than two shakes and you’re jerking off.
Men’s room, 14 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Coworker #1: I cannot wait for lunch.
Coworker #2: Do you want something from the vending machine?
Coworker #1: No, I want like food-food.
Coworker #3: Uh, what's “food-food”, Sarah*?
Coworker #1, dumbfounded: Um… Like food that's filling. Not just chips or something.
Coworker #3: Oh, like chicken?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: also dumbfounded
Overworked peon: I told Julia to take a box cutter to your jugular if she saw you come in.
Boss: That's not nice!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Boss: Hey everyone! It’s the annual popcorn tin.
Employee: Ooh! I love popcorn tins.
Boss: Yeah, but you’re lookin’ a little fat, so we’re gonna keep it away from you.
175 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Peter H
Fashionista: We live in the dumbest world on the planet.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Physician on phone: They throw darts at each other's butts?!
32nd St
New York City, New York
