Employee #1: I’ve got the sniffles. Do you have any medicine?
Employee #2: Here, take this. It’s got Omega-3 fatty acid to prevent heart disease.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Employee #1: I’ve got the sniffles. Do you have any medicine?
Employee #2: Here, take this. It’s got Omega-3 fatty acid to prevent heart disease.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker to another about manager: So he said, ‘If someone comes into your office crying, just ignore it. It used to freak me out, but now I realize it happens all the time.’
46th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Receptionist on phone: Of course I’m tired. I sit here for nine hours a day with no work to do. That’s gonna tire me out!
601 West 26th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Ty!
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Lady peon to another: Yeah, she lives in Yaphank. She shares her llamas.
789 Park Avenue
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Cara
Big nose: What’s your favorite swear or curse word?
Big ass: Fuuuck.
Big nose: What the fuck?
Big ass: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Big nose: It’s so fucking hot.
Big ass: I’m gonna fuck you up.
Big nose: You are so fucked.
Big ass: I just got fucked.
Big nose: Wanna fuck?
Big ass: Fuck me. [Pause, then] Shit, my boss is coming.
Big nose: We’ll resume this again tomorrow, Fuckface.
Big ass: Haha, you win.
Big nose: I always do.
130 West 42nd Street
New York, New York
Dude: My brother is the Rasputin of the welding industry.
Elevator
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jas
Janitor to coworkers: Man, these customers be crazy. The other night I was moppin’ the floor, and this bitch come up to me and said, ‘It’s not time to mop the floor yet!’ Lady, do I come to your job and smack the dick outta your mouth?
Natural Food Store breakroom
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: disgruntled employee
VP of marketing: If you used a duck, you’d somehow have to tie it into a kid who was killed by a drunk driver who loved ducks.
30 E, 33rd Street
New York, NY
Sales guy, entering a meeting: Sorry I’m late…
Director of marketing: You brought doughnuts? Coffee?
Sales guy: No.
Director of marketing: Then you’re dead to us. Get out.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
