Lycanths Like the Marshmallow Ones

Purchasing manager: We’re renegades. We’re running with the wolves. We ordered hot chocolate.

1 Railroad Ave
Cooperstown, New York

Posted on March 13, 2015
Bosses, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Words

Refuses to Watch Baseball Because of the Flies

Suit: The other way I learned it, from Schoolhouse Rock, is that the alligator is hungry and so wants to bite the larger one.
Woman coworker: Ohhh… I see. That would confuse me, because it’s got animals.

919 3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: i guess graduating elementary school just was

Posted on March 12, 2015
Animals, Arts, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, New York, Suits

Career Tip: Don't Give Babies to Your Colleagues, Dear Reader

Office girl: Why don't you get a baby? A cute little brown baby?
Gay office worker: I don't want a gay-by!
Office girl: Oh yeah, a cute little chocolate baby!
Gay office worker: I'd eat him! I love chocolate! (pause) Anyway where's my urn?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on March 11, 2015
Colors, Coworkers, Family, Gays and lesbians, New York, Questions, Weirdness

Going… Through… Withdrawal

Office grunt #1: The Internet is down. Email still works, but there’s something wrong with the Internet.
Office grunt #2: So the Internet’s running fine, right?

1 Penn Plaza
New York, New York

Overheard by: I’m gonna go with NO…

Posted on March 11, 2015
Coworkers, New York, Technology

10AM Swing by Trading Floor

Trader: When I go to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow, my doctor is going to wonder why I have two assholes.

Trader: Lance Armstrong has more balls than I do.

Trader: Why don’t I just go to prison? Then I wouldn’t have to pay to get fucked in the ass.

50 Broad Street
New York, NY

Posted on March 10, 2015
Employees, Gripes, New York

And It Took Him Three Days to Get Over It

First-grade teacher: CHARLES! Give me those! Those are NAILS! Nails are unsafe and do not belong in your hands.
Student: Pshhh, unless you’re JESUS!

New York, New York

Overheard by: i want to adopt this kid

Posted on March 10, 2015
Comebacks, Gripes, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Religion, Students, Teachers

1PM Lunch

Worker #1: I have to leave in like two hours.
Worker #2: I just got here…
Worker #1 & #2: Ha, ha!
Worker #1: Isn’t that what flex-time means, anyway?

4 Columbus Circle
New York, NY

Overheard by: cindy

Posted on March 10, 2015
Coworkers, New York, Questions, Time Management, Words

I Don’t Know What I Know ’til Somebody Tells Me

Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.

Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians

Posted on March 9, 2015
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Holidays, New York, Questions, Religion

It’s Less an Assumption than Universal Law

Underling: I’m really tired of having to assume that everyone else is an idiot and that I should automatically know which questions to ask.

30 E 33rd Street
New York, NY

Posted on March 9, 2015
Employees, Gripes, Insults, New York, Questions

9AM Doctor’s Appointment

Nurse #1: It’s more important that we get rid of the dead things in the clinic.
Nurse #2: The smell’s still there?
Nurse #3: Have you tried spraying the air with something?

1230 York Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Molly the Mole

Posted on March 9, 2015
Death, Gripes, Medical, New York, Nurses, Questions, Sensory Experiences