Old man: My car was stolen this morning. It’s been a terrible day. I had my son come all the way out to drive me over to see you, because you’re my agent.
Insurance Agent: What would you like me to do about it?
37383 6 Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan
Overheard by: Next-door Nancy
Salesman: I need you need to move these squares over here on the plan.
Engineer: You mean the rectangles?
Salesman: Geez–you engineers and your math. Yeah, whatever.
Auburn Hills, Michigan
20-something office girl: Remember, that e-mail said that you're supposed to swab your nose or use a neti pot, and gargle with salt water or Listerine to prevent the swine flu.
30-something office dude: Is that what you do?
20-something office girl: I swab my nose and flush my nostrils, and I swish Listerine. But I don't gargle.
30-something office dude: Why not?
20-something office girl: I can't do it. I've never been able to. I just don't know how to gargle, and believe me, I've tried it. As soon as something hits the back of my throat, my instinct is to swallow.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Co-worker on phone: When she goes to a restaurant, does she normally take it off?…Does she normally read the newspaper?…And the pouch, were you able to stick your hands all the way down in the back?
37383 Six Mile Road
Livonia, Michigan
Overheard by: Next Door Nancy
Store clerk: So you're from Canada. Is it really quiet there?
Customer: Well, I guess that depends on where you live. I live in a large city, Toronto.
Store clerk: They have cities in Canada?
Northern Michigan
Butcher holding up pork: These are the finest butts I've ever seen. In fact, I just boned them myself!
Grand Blanc, Michigan
Employee, whispering about large customer entering: She’d like an additional chin…
7 Mile Road
Michigan
Customer: What price tickets do you have available?
Call center rep: $70, $60, and $35.
Customer: Okay…(long pause) What tickets do you still have though?
Call center rep: Um…70 dollar tickets, 60 dollar tickets, and 35 dollar tickets.
Customer: Okay… (pause) But how much are the tickets that you have left?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Kathy
Office girl #1: Is it raining out?
Office girl #2: No way, it’s sunny! Unless it a sun shower.
Office girl #1: A sun shower is not physically possible.
Office girl #2: Ummm, you’ve never seen it rain while the sun’s out?
Office girl #1: Oh, I thought you meant literally, like giant balls of fire falling from the sky…
Michigan
Overheard by:
