Those “Die. Die. Die.” E-mails Gave Us Some Clue.

Cube rat #1: Hey, come look at this! The way Firefox cuts off the wording on my tab spells out “web anal”!
Cube rat #2: What? What are you talking about?
Cube rat #1: Seriously. Instead of “web analytics,” it just says “web anal.” that cracks me up!
Cube rat #3: Hey, I'm actually with him on this one. I'm looking up a recipe right now to make my girlfriend for dinner, and coincidentally my tab says “basil bals” for “basil balsamic vinaigrette.” You gotta admit it's funny.
Cube rat #2: You two have no idea how much I hate you guys.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on April 12, 2018
Employees, Gripes, Internet, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Questions, Sexuality, Words

And Don't Be Trying to Put Rat Poison in It This Time

Elderly boss to receptionist: Where's my coffee?
Receptionist: Are your legs broken?
Elderly boss: My third one is! Now get my coffee!

Southfield, Michigan

Posted on March 15, 2018
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Michigan, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Receptionists

And a Cat'll Cut a Bitch

14-year-old girl to another: I bet you would get drop-kicked in the head if you tried to put eyeliner on a dog.

Lansing, Michigan

Posted on November 10, 2017
Animals, Body Parts, Friends, Michigan, Physical Appearance

Which You've Already Done by Wearing Such a Loud Tie.

Temp: It's so silent in here.
Boss: Don't ruin the magic.

East Circle Drive
East Lansing, Michigan

Posted on October 25, 2017
Bosses, Interns & Temps, Michigan, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Says So on Her Jeans

Younger coworker: Oh, had her water broken?
Grandmotherly coworker: No, not yet.
Younger coworker: So, what was all the liquid then?
Grandmotherly coworker: I don't know. She's just juicy, I guess.

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: Sorry I caught up with them

Posted on October 9, 2017
Body Parts, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Questions, Sexuality

The Colonel's Demon-Spawn Lives on in Michigan

Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 21, 2017
Admins, Animals, Compare and contrast, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

1PM Lunch Break

Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars.

901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 20, 2017
Arts, Coworkers, Gossip, Holidays, Michigan, Time Management

Why God Invented Admins

Co-worker: You know, it’s pretty hard to kiss your own ass…

1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on July 29, 2017
Admins, Coworkers, Cubicles, Gripes, Michigan, Possible Sexual Harassment

Although Cats in Beverly Hills Have Major Bulimia

Coworker #1: Check out this cat stroller!
Coworker #2: If cats need strollers, no wonder us humans are so fat.

Farmington Hills, Michigan

Posted on November 29, 2016
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Diet & Weight, Michigan

12PM Monitor Calls

CSR on phone: No ma’am, I cannot get the part to you today. If I could beam myself to your house and deliver the part myself, I would. But since I can’t, you will have to wait for overnight shipping.

553 Benson Road
Benton Harbor, Michigan

Posted on April 7, 2016
Customer Service, Michigan, On the phone